Let’s go all the way tonight; no regrets, just love.

Because my life is pretty much consumed by homework right now, at least until I leave for (and return from) Europe, and because my computer is sick and no longer in my possession, I have turned to mind-numbing movies to fill the silence.  I can’t focus when things are too quiet.  I have to have background noise when I do homework. Actually, I pretty much require background noise always, but that is neither here nor there. My point is that I have “watched” a lot of musicals this week.

Usually, I use my iTunes to enhance my homework time.  I have an entire playlist dedicated to instrumental music.  It includes original scores to some of my favorite movies and the classics, you know, Mozart, Pachelbel, Beethoven, Brahms. Usually, if I listen to words in songs, I’ll sing along rather than actually absorb whatever information I’m reading.

It was a little weird at first, not having my computer with my iTunes to help lull me into the homework zone.  I started by playing the Harry Potter movies sequentially.  Those are movies that I can have in the background and effectively complete my econ homework but that I can also easily get sucked into watching.  Luckily, when I sat down with the intent to do homework, the movies weren’t distracting. In fact, I am so familiar with the scores to each of the movies that not only did I find myself quoting the lines of the movie, I also found myself humming along to the music in the background of each scene.  Nerd alert!

Last night, like the cool person that I am, I sat down to write my discussion questions for Econ and a website review for my Finance class, I decided that I should put in a musical, that way I wouldn’t be too tempted to sit and actually watch the movie.  I started with Mamma Mia and then moved onto the High School Musical Movies.

I didn’t think this would be problematic. I thought that since I’m so familiar with the HSM movies, I would be able to tune out and not care about what was happening on screen.

No such luck.

The HSM movies are so appalling to me that I sit and watch and giggle to myself at how ridiculous they are.  (Obviously, this does not negate the fact that I own all three on DVD, can quote each movie, and know all the words to every single song.) I may be 23 years old, but I can’t help but love Disney.

This led me to think about how awesome Disney Channel Original Movies were when I was younger.  I grew up with Even Stevens and Lizzie McGuire; I know those aren’t movies but I loved them nonetheless. I lived for the Zenon Trilogy. Ryan Merriman was my teenage dream, with Smart House and Luck of the Irish.  Step-Sister from Planet Weird was awesome. I look(ed) forward to Halloweentown every single October.  I didn’t even really like the Thirteenth Year, but I watched that shit every single time I saw that it was on.  I cried when I watched Tru Confessions and told anyone who would listen that Shia LaBeouf’s performance was beyond excellent.

Dude, what happened to the youth of America? Why is everything (with the exception of Wizards of Waverly Place) on the Disney Channel so fucking stupid?!

I guess I’ll just continue watching High School Musical 3: Senior Year as I begin my never-ending finance homework.  Nothing like financial risk to get the mind racing and the blood pumping!

This summer may very well be my busiest one yet.

Not that I’m complaining or anything. Of course.

You don’t want baggage without lifetime guarantees. You don’t want to watch me die. I just came to say goodbye, love. Goodbye, love. Came to say goodbye, love, goodbye.

I have a problem with roadkill.

At 23, I should probably not think of wild animals in terms of Disney creatures that have homes and families and feelings. I know it seems ridiculous, but I just can’t help it. In my head, I only see Bambi’s mom, or the Beaver family from the Chronicles of Narnia, or Simba and how he ran away from Pride Rock after Mufasa’s death. These poor animals have others counting on them; they have responsibilities and a family to come home to.

When I see a raccoon’s guts splayed on the side of the road or a deer laying broken on the shoulder, my heart breaks.

On my way to work last week, I burst into tears when I saw a black cat squished in the middle of the road.  I cried for the little girl who loved that cat with her whole heart, I cried for the other kitty cat friends that Blackie had, and I cried for the person who hit the kitty and killed it.

It’s so sad to me and I can’t help but be really, really upset by it.

I hoped that I had hit my quota for roadkill for the week, but it seems that the universe had other plans. Yesterday, I experienced the most traumatizing roadkill event to date. I probably won’t tell it right or be able to express how deeply upset I was by this, but I’m going to try.

I was driving to meet my brother for dinner when this occurred.  I was driving happily, listening to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows on CD, and I was halfway to my destination.  Just as I was picking up my phone from the passenger’s seat of my car to call Drew to ask him where he wanted to go for dinner, it happened.

By chance, I happened to notice a deer on the shoulder of the highway.  I can’t remember now what it was that made me come to this conclusion, but something told me that something wasn’t right about this deer. For one, it was not dead.  I could see its eyes and they were wide open.  Then, all of a sudden, it was picking itself up off the pavement, only it wasn’t going as it should have.

It all happened pretty fast, and I was driving as I was watching this, but I did see enough to be traumatized.

Poor Deery was having trouble standing up and I could tell that something was very wrong with her (I’m assuming?) hindquarters.  Deery couldn’t put any weight on her back legs. She began dragging her back legs as she tried to get away from the highway and the cars driving so fast past her. I had passed her and my vision was blurry with hot tears when I had dialed Drew via speed-dial on my phone.  By the time he picked up the phone, I was in the throes of a full-blown grief-meltdown.

What was so upsetting to me was that I did not see any vehicle near her that looked like it had been hit by a dear.  I didn’t see anyone around other than me and the other cars driving past this suffering animal. I couldn’t understand how someone could hit a deer and leave it to die in such a painful and agonizing way. The fact that where she had been hit was on top of a hill worried me.  Without the ability to use her back legs, how was she to navigate that hill to get back into the wooded safe haven? I think about it now and my heart hurts. I imagine that she fell down the hill and lay at the bottom, wishing to die because of the pain.  It is terrible, but I would have preferred someone shot her or something, to put her out of her misery.  It isn’t fair.

I explained what happened to Drew through thick sobs. He laughed at me.

After crying my eyes out and having him listen to me wail wordlessly, I tried to change the subject. He didn’t because he probably didn’t want to seem insensitive since I was so obviously upset. He’s such a good brother.

When I finally got the words out to ask him where we should go to dinner, he replied, “Well there’s this new venison place…”

That’s when a sob escaped and I hung up on him. I grabbed a mostly clean napkin off the passenger seat and wiped my eyes and blew my nose.

He called back.

“That wasn’t nice,” I cried.

He was joking and he was trying to make me laugh, but I wasn’t ready yet.  So I cried on the phone some more, cursed society and contemplated calling the police (or ANYBODY!) to have them come rescue Deery (or at least end her suffering).

I didn’t call the police, but I haven’t been able to get the image of that poor deer dragging its back legs out of my head.

I just can’t handle roadkill. It really hurts my heart.

Look at the world, so close, and I’m halfway to it. Look at it all, so big, do I even dare? Look at me, here at last, I just have to do it! Should I? No. Here I go! Just smell the grass, the dirt, just like I dreamed they’d be! Just feel that summer breeze, the way it’s calling me! For, like, the first tiem ever, I’m completely free! I could go running and racing and dancing and chasing and leaping and bounding, hair flying, heart pounding, and splashing and reeling and finally feeling that’s when my life begins!

I have talked a lot lately about how sick I have been.

The thing is… I really thought I was getting better.

Even when I went to hang out with Grandma yesterday, I kept talking about how much better I feel from the misery I experienced last week, when I thought I wanted to die.  No matter how many times I watched Tangled, I still felt like death.  I still went to bed taking a pretty intense drug cocktail and woke up each morning taking that same mix of medications.

I have since weaned myself off of most of the drugs and have been living life among the living and well. Finally.

Except a couple days ago, I noticed that every time I yawned my throat screamed at me to stop doing that. It was always like, Bitch, I wouldn’t do that if I were you. But, like, sometimes you just gotta yawn. Just like sometimes, when I’m at the grocery store and I am reaching to the top shelf to try to grab a box of risotto and a stretch comes outta nowhere, you just gotta go with it. So yeah, I just stood on that bottom shelf at the store and stretched my body all over the other types of rice on the shelves. I didn’t care that it was a Saturday afternoon and there were hoards of people walking by. You just gotta go with it. You can’t fight it. Because it just feels too good.

So as I was sitting on the couch, just doing nothing and basking in my unshowered sickness, I yawned. I disregarded my throat’s warning and immediately wished I had stifled the shit out of that yawn.

My throat is on fire.

At first it was just when I yawned or when I swallowed. And it came and went, or I just didn’t notice it.  But tonight, the fire is raging unapologetically. My throat is not speaking to me other than to say fuck you; I hurt, too.

So we’re both very unhappy and I’m at a loss. I took some Tylenol to help with the pain, but it hurt going down and I just want to find a garden gnome and drop kick it. I feel like that sensation would make me feel better. I mean, I’m trying my best to not yawn. And not swallow. (Not in a dirty way, you sickos!) Which, let me tell you, is difficult.

I keep being told to go back to the doctor, but I’m seriously avoiding that. I just found a doctor locally and I don’t want them to think I’m using them to get drugs. I’m really not. I just haven’t been this sick in a while and it’s not my fault that I had a muscle spasm and then got a really nasty sinus infection and that my muscle spasm didn’t go away for, like, two weeks. I can’t help it that now that all of that original stuff seems like it has finally sorted itself out, my throat is filled with the wrath of the devil.

My life is so hard.

Be our guest! Be our guest! Put our service to the test! Tie your napkin ’round your neck, cherie, and we provide the rest!

I made something in the kitchen today other than a small fire.

I know, you’re proud. I can hear your applause right now.

Now, this is something we usually only make in the fall, but, dude, I got home from work tonight and was like I NEED PUMKIN CAKE RIGHT NOW ASAP so I just fuckin’ did it. And let me tell you, it’s as good as I remember from November.

I didn’t think to take pictures while I was in the process of actually making it, but when I went to eat it, I decided it was too good to just hoard and not share with you.  So, here, my friends, is a delicious recipe for a lovely fall dessert.

(It just isn’t seasonally appropriate anymore, but whatevs, I still dig it.)

Ingredients:

• 1 can Evaporated Milk
• 3 Large Eggs
• 1 ¼ tsp Cinnamon
• ½ tsp Nutmeg*
• ½ tsp Salt
• 1 cup Sugar
• 1 can Pumpkin (13 oz)
• 1 pkg Yellow Cake Mix
• ½ cup butter (softened/melted)
• 1 carton Cool Whip (or other whipped topping)

Instructions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit
2. Mix evaporated milk, eggs, cinnamon, nutmeg, salt, sugar, and pumpkin in a bowl.  Pour mixture into a greased and floured 9 x 13 pan.
3. Mix cake mix with ½ cup melted butter.
4. Crumble cake/butter mixture on top of pumpkin mixture.
5. Bake at 350 for 40 minutes.
6. Let cool.
7. Serve with Cool Whip (or other whipped topping).
8. ZOMG Yum!

Oh, heavens to Betsy, No! You MUST add the Cool Whip! It’s just not the same without it!!

Oh, yes, yes, yes!! That’s the ticket!!

Excuse me while I go enjoy my pumpkin cake!!

*”Oh, Meg, my little flower, my little bird, my little Nut Meg!”

Name that movie!!

Have a wonderful holiday weekend!!

I’m Fergalicious (so delicious), my body stay vicious. I be up in the gym just working on my fitness. He’s my witness (oh, wee!), I put yo’ boy on rock, rock! And he be lining down the block just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)

I am 36 minutes into the film Tangled.

I’ve been giggling like an idiot.

Tangled came out on DVD (and Blu-Ray- if you’re into that. We have one but I tend to forget about it….) today and you better believe I bought it.  I went straight to Target today (after I took a two hour nap, put gas in my car and remembered it was Tuesday) and purchased it. It was the only thing I bought. And let’s get real: there are at least 42 things at Target that I can easily convince myself into thinking I need on any given trip. Like, how one time I dropped 82 dollhairs and I couldn’t even explain what I bought without looking at my loot. But, alas, I practiced some self control.

It doesn’t even matter that I’m 23 years old and still have a deep, deep love for Disney movies.  Don’t hate. You know you have the same love that I do.

Speaking of Disney movies, I found something on the internet the other day that I simply MUST share with you.  It’s one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen.

Oh wait, that wasn’t the Disney thing I wanted to show you but it is worth sharing anyway.  I watch that video of those precious, little red pandas, like, every day and just giggle my face off. The music… it’s perfect. Good lord, I can’t get enough.

Okay, guys, here’s the Disney thing I wanted to show you.

It’s been floating around the internet for a while but I stumbled upon it the other day and immediately put that shit on facebook.

My love of Disney may make me seriously consider skipping the season finale of Teen Mom 2 tonight. And by seriously consider I mean I will skip the finale and finish watching Tangled in one sitting. Because, damn it, I’ve waited since Christmastime for this movie to be on DVD so I could see it again. And because I love Mandy Moore. And because I really don’t want to get up off the couch to get the remote to flip over to TV and turn on MTV.

What? My legs hurt.  I got my Fergie on today (“…workin’ on my fitness”).

Also, next time I’m drunk enough to humiliate myself and a) not care and/or b) not remember, I’m gonna use this: Somebody get me a glass ‘cause just found me a tall drink of water!

When you’re the best of friends, having so much fun together, you’re not even aware you’re such a funny pair, you’re the best of friends!

I imagine that someday when I have babies and have to leave them somewhere it will feel like when I have to leave Chief behind.

Every time I walk out the door, I always do that last look back as I say “bye bye, baby!” and my heart breaks a little bit. His sad eyes stare back at me and he sits in the hallway, just looking at me with a face that just begs, “Please take me with you!”

The same thing happened, as it does every day, when I went to leave to run an errand. (I needed ink for my printer.) But then, lightbulb!, I had a thought.

Chief is well-behaved!

He can come with me!

Where is his leash?

Where is your leash, Chiefy?!

He started to wiggle and began searching for his red leash.

We finally found it and he hopped into the car. Away we went!

I have a hard time remembering all the things we can do with Chief because we couldn’t do a lot of things with Tag. Tag was too high-strung and protective. While he was more of a snuggle-bug than Chief is, he went into protect mode when someone came to the door. He got too excited to control himself when he was out on a walk or traveling in the car.  Single minded to the point of recklessness is what I used to say to describe him.

It makes me sad to think about Tag and how he’s not here anymore.

Anyway, Chief is super calm and doesn’t get all kinds of crazy when he gets excited. The only weird thing is that he sits backwards in the car. He also is not amused by an open window and the wind in his face.  I don’t think we share the same taste in music and he doesn’t listen when I talk to him as I drive.

Having my dog in the car with me as I ran around town made me happy. I just kept thinking that that’s what it must feel like for those people who take their yorkie or Chihuahua with them everywhere they go. Only, I wasn’t as obnoxious as those people because my dog is huge, soft and adorable and he’s not twitchy and weird.

So yeah, I guess having a dog is just like having a baby.

Tale as old as time, true as it can be, barely even friends, then somebody bends, unexpectedly…

I watched Beauty & the Beast this week.

Here’s the thing about when I watch movies: I think of questions you’re not supposed to think about. I just do. I can’t help it. It’s just how my brain works.

Hey, just real quick, who in the castle made clothes big enough to fit the Beast?

…

………

…………………..

…………………………. Really?

Yes, really! Those household items are not dexterous enough to alter his original clothes nor could they sew something new!

Shit, Katie, I don’t know. Maybe one of them was turned into a sewing kit.

Oh. Yeah. Probably. Good point. Okay, bye!

Yeah, I called Drew just to ask that.

I’d really like to say that that was the end of it.

But then this happened:

Thought of another one: who is MR. Potts???

He died tragically. Why do you think she has to work in the first place?

Yes, we were, of course, speaking about Mrs. Potts, the lovely older woman who was turned into a teapot when the castle was enchanted.

Oh good. That’s what I thought too. So she and crazy old Maurice got together??

I don’t know, Katie.

Don’t get mad!!

I’m not. I just don’t know if he ever recovered from the death of his wife. It’s why he dove into inventing, to ignore his pain.  That is why Belle likes fantasies, to escape her tragic life of having seen her mother die and her dad not recover from it.

Aaaaaaand that’s pretty much why I have the best brother ever and you don’t.

Storybook endings, fairytales coming true… deep down inside we wanna believe they still do…!

One of my childhood memories includes our endless roadtrips to Florida for family vacations. At least once a year for a long time, we would drive down to Florida. This was before there were DVD players built into vehicles.

Mostly, I remember spending my time coloring in the backseat and ending up with some pretty jank coloring pages. I also remember singing along to Disney movie soundtracks at the top of my lungs. There were also some very long naps.

The other thing I remember is listening to Charlotte’s Web as a book on tape.

Dude. Why on earth did I ever stop listening to books on tape?!

All you have to do is sit there and listen to someone read to you.

It’s not even like that lame reading aloud we had to do in elementary school, you know, when you had to follow along. Or when you sounded like you had a stutter because reading out loud in front of people is hard. Or when you had to play that game where someone would be reading and then, like a dick, that someone would shout “popcorn!” and call your name and you were supposed to start reading but because you were busy picking at the chipped nail polish on your fingers or worried about the hole in the crotch of your leggings (because that’s all I wore in third grade, apparently! Thanks a whooooole lot, Mom!) you hadn’t been following along so you looked like an asshole.

What? I’m not bitter.

That is the best idea ever. Books on tape, that is. Not that shitty “popcorn” reading game.

I feel really good about this audiobook idea.

That’s why, when Harry Potter 7 came out and I hadn’t had time to read the book again before seeing the movie, I decided, OH EM GEE, I can totally just listen to it on CD!

Luckily, my mother is addicted to her ipod and happens to be a huuuuge fan of audiobooks. I never thought I’d be happy about that fact, but I think she might be on to something.

I listened to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows on CD. First thing in the morning, as I was getting ready for work in the morning, I’d fire up whatever disk I was on and let Jim Dale’s voice fill my ears of Harry’s last quest for goodness to conquer evil.

Once I finished Harry Potter, I perused my library’s choices of audiobooks.  I decided upon Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult. I seriously love her books. I never know what is going to happen. The ending is always a surprise, and that’s really awesome for books. I highly recommend pretty much anything by her. I read The Pact by her earlier this fall and that book was also excellent!

Finally, today, I started Goodnight Nobody by Jennifer Weiner. I enjoy her books as well. It may seem silly, but I actually was carrying the paperback version of this book around in my purse for probably a month. I hadn’t gotten past the first chapter. With the audiobook, I can listen while I get ready in the morning, I can take the book with me in the car on the way to work or when I’m just running around town. SO CONVENIENT!!

I’m seriously obsessed.

I’m never reading a real book ever again.

(Writing that kind of broke my heart. I take it back. I heart real books!)

You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors. It’s the mornin’ of your very first day…

For the first seven weeks of this semester, I’ll be taking the first class in my concentration. In seven weeks, I will learn an entire semester’s worth of material. This is not a new concept, as all of my classes in grad school thus far have been in the seven-week accelerated format. This is just fine by me but it does mean that things go pretty quickly and doesn’t really leave much time to slack off and miss classes. Not that I ever would, of course,since I’m such a perfect student and never skipped classes in college- ever. If life was like Pinocchio and everyone suffered from the nose-growing disorder he suffered from, I surely would look ridiculous right now.

Side Note:  Speaking of Pinocchio, I haven’t seen that movie in forevs because the live-action version with JTT (Jonathan Taylor Thomas, aka the love of my life when I was ten years old) really, really freaked me out. And I’m fairly certain the animated version by Disney was creeps as fuck too. Maybe now that I’m old and a grown-ass woman I should re-watch the movies that scared the hell out of me when I was younger. What would that list include, I wonder? E.T. would definitely be on that list. I haven’t seen that shit since before I can even remember!!

Anyway, now that this post has completely gotten away from me and gone to a way more exciting topic, I’ll go back to the boring shit I was telling you about at the beginning. My point was, it’s the eve of my first class of this school year. It’s the first class of my concentration, and just between you and me, because I’m a huge nerd and really, really like school, I’m SUPER excited to be getting into the core classes of the reason I’m going to school. I read my textbook for my pre-assignment and got really excited to be a part of class discussions. I’m excited for my brain to act as an eager sponge and just soak up all the information coming at me!

People with rolly backpacks disgust me.

The best part is, I really, really love the first day of school. As far back as I can remember, I’ve loved it. Well, except for that one year in elementary school when I was afraid of my teacher on the first day of school and was too much of a pansy to ask to go to the bathroom so I wet my pants and tried to hide the puddle of pee on the tiny chair I was seated in.  But, really, besides that, the first day of school and I are, like, besties.

I love brand new school supplies. I love shopping for school supplies. I love seeing everyone walking around campus and filing into classrooms. Everyone just seems so much happier on the first day of classes than all of the other times they walk into class. The first day of school just gives people a pep in their step! And frankly, I love that kind of shit.

I also really, really love getting the class syllabus. Sure, that gets sent out beforehand sometimes, but I like all the time the professor spends going over it, like we don’t have eyes and can’t possibly read or understand what they mean just by reading it. I love going through the class calendar and color coding my planner. I enjoy seeing how much I’m going to hate my life because seven weeks goes by in a flash and that means a large assignment is due every single week.

Anyway, I hope everyone has an enjoyable first day of school, whether it already happened for Fall 2010 or if it’s still to come after Labor Day.  I guess if you’re reading this and don’t have a first day of school anymore, then I feel sad for you. Because it’s one of the many joys in my life. And I look forward to the day I’m a parent someday (bahahaha I should never have kids) and can scar those children with how much I love the first day of school.

damn girl, damn girl, damn girl, damn girl, damn girl, damn

So there is this new(???) trend that I have started following.

I don’t know when, where, or how it started.  All I know is that a few weeks ago I thought it was stupid and didn’t give it another thought, and now I’m fully engulfed in the excitement.

Silly Bandz.

A couple weekends ago, I was back in O-Town and my neighbor was wearing this tiny, yellow squiggly rubber band around her wrist.

WTF is that?

A horse.

Explain yourself.

*Takes off yellow squiggly rubber band, twists it around for a minute, places it flat on the table*

It’s a horse.

Why?

There is no answer for why. As far as I can tell, there is no purpose to these squiggly rubber bands. I’m also sad to report that I have no good reason for being as excited as I am about them.

I currently have six on my wrist at this very moment.

what they look ON

I know. It’s totally ridiculous. But I feel like it’s what happens with pringles; once you pop, the fun don’t stop.

LOVE LOVE LOVE

Starting at the top left: That first one is supposed to be Gingy, you know, from Shrek. In the yellow, next to Gingy is Shrek’s head. The red one beside that is supposed to be Donkey. These slay me. My neighbor gave these to me with my My Little Pony birthday card at dinner last night. GLORIOUS. Below that, the pink one, is a crown from the Disney princess package of silly bandz. Then, of course, my two favorites (I would): The red one is a brontosaurus and the green one beside him is the mighty T-Rex.

LOVE LOVE LOVE.

I’m weak. I hop on bandwagons. So sue me.

Now, go get yourself some silly bandz. We can trade. 🙂