Tag Archive: football


Well. I’ve been sitting here for 51 minutes trying to think of something to say.

I finally came up with this:

This picture is pretty much an excellent way to sum up a night that Megan and I will never forget, and a night that Rob will never remember. Because he was blackout drunk and crawled through East Lansing trying to get home after we decided it was totally fine for him to leave by himself while we hung out with the complete strangers we found.

And by found, I mean that I flagged down some random Escalade, jumped inside and told Rob and Megan it was totally fine and to get the fuck in the car, and GO GO GO!!

Yeah. Really safe.

A complete blur. And shady as fuck.

We had been drunk for a while and looking for something to do in East Lansing after the MSU vs OSU game. (Can I just tell you how much I love game day?! SO MUCH!)  We were hanging out near Harpers when we decided that we should go to my friend’s apartment because she was having people over. We would hang out for a little bit and go to the bars later, because oh, yeah, it was still light out and too early to be as drunk as we were.

The only thing was that we needed a way to get to my friend’s apartment, which was hella far away.  Instead of calling a cab or even trying to call a friend who could drive, I just decided to flag some vehicle down. Like I’m in NYC or something, trying to hail a taxi. Who am I?

So, yeah, I flag down this white Escalade, which is filled with three or four (I can’t remember) guys.  They stopped and, for some reason, let me hop in.  For some reason, Rob and Megan followed after me and away we went to my friend’s apartment.

Talk about poor life choice. And awkward city.

Shenanigans.

Anyway, I can’t remember what happened, like the exact events of the evening. I do remember Rob, Megan and I going into my friend’s bathroom and all three of us peeing in there. At the same time. Not okay.

I also remember one of the boys changing his pants in a parking lot.

And I remember drunk-dialing my dad.

We also went to one of the bars in East Lansing for a while and danced our faces off. That was when we let Rob walk himself home despite the fact that he couldn’t see.

There’s also a memory of Megan peeing outside, in public. Twice.

We also walked all the way back to my apartment and kept Erica up until, like, 7am.  I made two of the boys watch High School Musical because I didn’t want to have sex with either of them.

The best part was that after all of the shenanigans and staying up until 8am with a strange man I had met just by jumping in his vehicle, I had to go to a staff meeting at work.  I showed up, all disheveled and loopy from a lack of sleep and super hungover.

Megan and I always reminisce on the shitshow that night turned out to be.  Generally, I just consider myself on the up and up as long as I’m not hopping in vehicles filled with strange men I don’t know.  And when I’m not pounding 100 proof shots of Captain Morgan.

We also try to embrace the whole no man left behind mentality.

Unless it’s Seneca- we usually let her go wherever she wants.

Or Leah- but that was one time, and had I been aware enough to be a part of the decision, I never would have let her wander East Lansing by herself during St. Patrick’s Day weekend. That was not my fault. And things worked out… kinda. She found her way home eventually.

1.) The only reason I enjoyed this Sunday is because I know I don’t have to be at work tomorrow because of Columbus Day. Love Love Love.

2.) You know how in Jersey Shore the boys sing “T shirt tiiiiiiiiiime!  T shirt tiiiiiiiime!” over and over before they go out and while they wear the “shirt before the shirt”?? Well, I love that they do that. It cracks me up. And last night before we went out, Megan and I sang “T shirt tiiiiiiiiime!” and it was awesome. We didn’t change our clothes for the song or anything but it was cool anyway.

3.) I was supremely hungover today.

4.) MSU beat U of M yesterday. I’m not a huge sports fan, as you know, but I really, really love the rivalry between the two schools, and it just feels really good to know that my school is better than that other school for another year.  I actually did watch the second half of the game, though, so I felt like I participated in the win.  I took a nap during the first half. It was a good one.

5.) I went to a hockey game with my friends from work on Friday. I know I have talked about this before, but I’m gonna say it again because it’s still definitely true. Yes, hockey is hot. It is. But I just can’t get past the violence. It’s so violent. And the refs just allow the fighting. I can’t understand that! If that was my honey out there, I wouldn’t be able to watch. How does Carrie Underwood do it?! And then at one of the breaks between periods (yeah, I know there are three periods in a hockey game), there was this hockey team made up of little kids. They were so precious. And I got worried and a little upset because someday if I have babies I just don’t think I could watch my little one play hockey. I would cry the whole time and be like DON’T HURT MY BABY!!! I’m such a pansy. The hockey game really made me want to watch the Mighty Ducks trilogy.

6.) My class ends this week. I am SO excited for this class to be over. This has been the most frustrating class of my MBA program and it’s deeply upsetting. I had a meltdown a couple weeks ago about it. I just can’t get an A in this class to save my life. It really, really bothers me!

7.) Speaking of my class ending, that means I have a week of no classes before the next session starts. During that week, I will be on vacation. Starting this Friday after work, I will have an entire week of vacation. I’m not going anywhere, so it’s a stay-cation but I’m still really excited. I have so much to do! I need to get a haircut, finalize my Halloween costume, and help Mom move to the new house! Busy, busy, busy!!

8.) I am watching How I Met Your Mother again. Season 3 this time. I just finished the episode where Barney and Robin sleep together. Ted got really mad but I totally dig the idea of Barney and Robin together. I have trouble reminding myself that tv shows aren’t real life and that those people don’t actually exist.

I have never worked in the restaurant industry. I’ve never been a waitress nor have i worked in any job that involved food. (Well, except when I babysat and made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and apple slices. Or Kraft macaroni and cheese from the blue box with the powder cheese- because it’s way better than that shitty velveta cheese and shell noodles. Or that time I fed stolen crackers to a drunk friend in the communal shower room in the dorms in college- yes, you know who you are, and I love love love you.)

Anyway, that is neither here nor there.

My point is that I do not know the interworkings of being a waitress or what it’s like working in a restaurant.  So I might be a huge dick for sharing this story and my thoughts about what happened, but just blame that on the fact I’m an ignorant bitch. Or something. On this topic, at least.

‘Twas the night we dropped Drew off at the airport and we stopped on the way to Detroit to get something to eat. We stopped at a Buffalo Wild Wings because Drew and I cannot get enough of the Asian zing sauce. We also love the honey barbecue. Yummmmm!! Anyway. We went to Buffalo Wild Wings, and it was a Game Day Saturday so there were a shit ton of football games on. Grandma was in hog heaven, although it was “way too loud” for her likes.

The place was packed and we had to wait, like, fifteen minutes to be seated, which was fine by me because I was having plenty of fun dipping into the conversations of strangers. In fact, I was having such a good time eavesdropping, I forgot all about how I had been complaining for the whole hour before that moment that I felt like I was gonna vom all over the car and all over Drew.

I listened to a family talk about boring kid stuff. I listened in on a conversation between two ladies as they ate traditional wings and cheese fries. The fries looked gross so I moved to the next table down. And that was where I stayed. I was scoping out their table in hopes that we would be seated in their booth when they left in just a few moments. The three men at the table only had about an inch of beer left in their glasses and they had stopped eating their wings. They were mostly talking about football so they weren’t very exciting to me, but when they were getting ready to leave, I was hooked.

I watched as one of the men pulled out the cash to cover the bill. Their waitress came and before she could come back, the men downed what was left in their glasses and stood to leave.  It was obviously implied that whatever change was left was the tip for the waitress.

What happened next blew my mind. I have never, in my life, witnessed or heard of something like this happening.  My jaw dropped and I immediately tapped Drew’s arm to inform him that he needed to pay attention ASAP.

Waitress (while climbing into booth to catch restaurant patrons before they left): Hey, did I do something wrong?

Man who paid the bill (surprised): Um, what? No?

Waitress (confused): I just wondered if I did something wrong?

Man (confused): No.

Me: Drew! Drew, watch!!

Waitress: I mean, I just want to know if I did something wrong. Because you guys were here for, like, a long time and I just wanted to know. If I did something wrong, you can tell me. I make $2.65 an hour, so I make a living off my tips.

Man: *flabbergasted*

Waitress: Is there a reason you only left… I mean, did I do something wrong? I make $2.65 an hour!

Man: Nah, we’re straight. *Finally walks away*

Me: WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?!

Waitress: *Dejected; pissed off* Okay, have a good night. *Walks off to bitch to co-workers*

Me: Oh my gawd, Drew, did you just see that?!!? That girl just did that!?! Have you seen that before?! MOM! DID YOU SEE WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!

Mom: No! What happened?!

End Scene.

I then went on to explain what I had witnessed. She was shocked and appalled like I was. Drew didn’t seem amused so he ignored us and continued watching football.

Isn’t that outrageous!? I cannot believe she did that!? I mean, it is true that I have no idea how much he left her as a tip, and it is a dick move to tip poorly, and it didn’t seem like she was a shitty waitress, but even so! How bold of her! Even if she truly was concerned about her job performance and how she could improve, I can’t believe she did that!

Am I the only one!? Have you ever witnessed or heard of something like that happening? Does that happen often? ENLIGHTEN ME!

Here are a few new-founded obsessions:

1.) 30 Rock— I requested season one from the library after I watched the Emmys. They didn’t win a bunch of shit this year like they’ve won in years past but I decided I needed to hop on the bandwagon anyway. With my requesting of 30 Rock, I requested season one of United States of Tara, Mad Men and something else. I can’t remember. I really, really love 30 Rock.  I sit by myself and watch it and just giggle. I love all of the guest stars. And how outrageous all of it is. Not to mention my girl crush on Tina Fey. And I really just love Alec Baldwin. I never thought I’d say that, but I just really do.

2.) Katy Perry— I finally bought Teenage Dream. I requested it from the library and was like 7,542 of 7,856,4895,156. I was going to have to wait forever to get it. So, I finally broke down and bought the album.  I couldn’t stand not owning it. I love it so much. I love every song.  It’s amazing. She’s gorgeous, and I love the video of Teenage Dream. Her giant eyes are amazing.  I love all of it.

3.) College Football Season— I just love it for tailgate season. Make your own judgments about me.

4.) Llamas— Yes, this is an ongoing obsession but I didn’t want the list to only be three things.  My mom and I went to Llama Fest at  MSU today. Every Labor Day Weekend, Llama Fest visits the MSU Pavilion. It’s awesome. It reeks like farm animals and I dry heave the second we walk inside, but the creepy giant eyes on those majestic, twitchy creatures are magnificent.  Llamas (and alpacas) make this little humming noise. I don’t know what it means but my mom and I went up to every llama pen and started humming at them. Some looked scary so we walked away quickly but other times the llamas came close and hummed back. I want a llama.

Enjoy your holiday weekend, everyone!!!

Yesterday was Grandma’s 78th birthday.

She requested for my mom to make fajitas for dinner and chocolate cake. That’s exactly what she got. (Yum, btw.) And then we did presents and talked about how different life is now than it was when she was young. I love when that happens because her childhood is just so outrageous to me. She talks about how she used to iron her brothers shirts all the time and that amazes me because I’ve never ironed anything in my life, besides my hair. Jeeez! Although, I have used my flat iron to “iron” a few articles of clothing. Something tells me, though, that that is totally not the same thing.

Grandma enjoys getting pedicures and is seriously obsessed with sports. She cares about, like, every sport there is. Something is always on. Hockey, football, tennis, golf, baseball… it never ends. She tries to make conversation with me about it but it’s completely useless since I just don’t know sports or care to pay much attention to it.

For her birthday, my mom thought of something awesome to give her. She purchased tickets to the Detroit Tigers game that was at 1:05 this afternoon. Grandma has talked about how she hasn’t been to Comerica Park and how she so wants to go to a Tigers game for foreverrrrrr. So we just fucking did it. We got tickets, hopped in the car this morning and drove to Detroit to watch the Tigers play the Minnesota Twins. She was so excited and it was adorable. She was so surprised and it just made it really precious to give those tickets to her for her birthday.

As previously stated, I do not watch sports. Most importantly, baseball is just so not sexy. It’s like the least sexy of all sports. With football, you’ve got these buff guys who run around in spandex and throw people to the ground. That’s kinda hot. And with soccer, you’ve got these really lean, really fit, hot guys who wear pretty normal outfits and aren’t all ‘roided up. Swimmers… this is all I’m gonna say: baaaangin’ bodies. Hockey is hot because even though it’s violent there’s something about the thrill of the fighting; you know those guys aren’t pansies. Golf  isn’t exactly sexy but I guess it’s not not sexy. (Tiger Woods is a total douche but I basically pretend he doesn’t exist, so whatevs.)  I mostly just think of people my dad’s age when I think of golf, and that’s awkward. Never mind. Let’s move on. My point is that baseball is not sexy and I just don’t get it. No thanks.

But, despite my feelings towards baseball, to the game we went. There was way more traffic than anticipated and Grandma told me I looked like “Sarah Palin’s daughter with those new sunglasses”- whatever that means. (I didn’t take that as a compliment. Bristol Palin (and basically the whole Palin clan) is a hot damn mess. Not in the cute, fun way that I am.)  When we got there, it was sunny and nice and it felt so good because the air was BLASTING in the car. But we got to our seats and I wanted to die. It was scorching. I now have a really sexy tan. And by that I mean I have not-so-cute tanlines. And by tan, I mean I’m bright red. Despite putting sun-screen on, I definitely burned. Whatever, though, right? Sunburns are sexy. bahaha

Long story short, I’d go to another game. It’s just fun to be there, be a part of it and feel the excitement of everyone around you. I enjoyed eating a hotdog in the stands and I totally wished I had Tigers apparel because that’s the best part- dressing for the occasion! lol I’m such a girl.

UPDATE (seriously-wtf-day-is-it?!, July 13):

here’s a picture to show you how good my sunburn looks:

soooooo sexy!!! i know you're jealous.

I should be required to wear some sort of sign that notifies people at movie theaters that I’m obnoxious.

Something neon and very noticeable: I’M A TALKER! I DON’T KNOW HOW TO WHISPER! I GIGGLE A LOT! I CLAP WHEN I’M HAPPY! I CAN’T SIT STILL!! I SCREAM WHEN I’M SCARED/SURPRISED! I COVER MY EARS AND SHOUT WHEN THERE’S A LOT OF VIOLENCE OR LOUD NOISES!

It should flash different phrases that apply to my behavior, just to get it all out in the open.

What is interesting is the fact that not once have I ever been told I’m being obnoxious at a movie theater. Never.

Even more interesting, I have experienced hypocrisy  at its finest. I ratted out a couple of 12-year-olds last year at The Hannah Montana Movie when Erica and I went to see it in theaters. Bahaha! I was so PO’d that they were being loud and talking the whole way through the movie that I actually got up out of my seat, went and found the customer service people and told them that two pre-teen girls were being obnoxious and ruining my Hannah Montana experience.

The girls got their parents called and I got two free tickets to any movie I wanted. Win.

I am also that person in the movie theater that constantly asks the questions, OMG WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!  WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN?!

Last night when Megan and I went and saw that New Tom Cruise Movie (I hate him), I kept asking. Megan now just responds, “I think we’ll find out later.”

Then I covered my ears and eyes and hit her leg a lot. THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS, I “whispered.”

Too bad, fellow movie-goers. You can’t make me sit with my feet on the ground- I will move if you sit right in front of me. (Or, if you’re the MSU football team sitting in front of me when I saw Pineapple Express in theaters, I will heckle you and still keep my feet on your chair because there was nowhere else to go.) You can’t make me stop fidgeting. I wiggle a lot. You can’t make me stop talking; I have a lot of thoughts. I have a lot of feelings. I just gotta share!  I cry too often and I laugh too loudly.  I like watching movies my way. It’s better than waiting until the end to get it all out.

Live in the moment! Carpe Diem! Seize the day!

We saw High School Musical 3 at midnight. I was reading Eclipse with my fleece blanket. Our gestures were totally appropriate and we were mature adults.

I sometimes think that maybe I shouldn’t allowed out in public or around children. Too bad for society. I’m still at large, ruining movies and corrupting the youth of America one inappropriate gesture and curse word at a time.