I’m Fergalicious (so delicious), my body stay vicious. I be up in the gym just working on my fitness. He’s my witness (oh, wee!), I put yo’ boy on rock, rock! And he be lining down the block just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)

I am 36 minutes into the film Tangled.

I’ve been giggling like an idiot.

Tangled came out on DVD (and Blu-Ray- if you’re into that. We have one but I tend to forget about it….) today and you better believe I bought it.  I went straight to Target today (after I took a two hour nap, put gas in my car and remembered it was Tuesday) and purchased it. It was the only thing I bought. And let’s get real: there are at least 42 things at Target that I can easily convince myself into thinking I need on any given trip. Like, how one time I dropped 82 dollhairs and I couldn’t even explain what I bought without looking at my loot. But, alas, I practiced some self control.

It doesn’t even matter that I’m 23 years old and still have a deep, deep love for Disney movies.  Don’t hate. You know you have the same love that I do.

Speaking of Disney movies, I found something on the internet the other day that I simply MUST share with you.  It’s one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen.

Oh wait, that wasn’t the Disney thing I wanted to show you but it is worth sharing anyway.  I watch that video of those precious, little red pandas, like, every day and just giggle my face off. The music… it’s perfect. Good lord, I can’t get enough.

Okay, guys, here’s the Disney thing I wanted to show you.

It’s been floating around the internet for a while but I stumbled upon it the other day and immediately put that shit on facebook.

My love of Disney may make me seriously consider skipping the season finale of Teen Mom 2 tonight. And by seriously consider I mean I will skip the finale and finish watching Tangled in one sitting. Because, damn it, I’ve waited since Christmastime for this movie to be on DVD so I could see it again. And because I love Mandy Moore. And because I really don’t want to get up off the couch to get the remote to flip over to TV and turn on MTV.

What? My legs hurt.  I got my Fergie on today (“…workin’ on my fitness”).

Also, next time I’m drunk enough to humiliate myself and a) not care and/or b) not remember, I’m gonna use this: Somebody get me a glass ‘cause just found me a tall drink of water!

Driving away from the wreck of the day, and it’s finally quiet in my head. Driving alone, finally on my way home to the comfort of my bed.

Things that upset me:

• Josh Duhamel is married to Fergie. Still.
• My local Target was all out of the eye shadow primer I use.
• I ran out of shampoo this morning.
• Miracle Whip has commercials on tv. I hate Miracle Whip. What the fuck is it??? Why?! Ew. Obviously, mayonnaise > miracle whip (why are they even comparable???).
• Creeper men keep hitting on me (including at my workplace!). No thank you!
• I went to the secretary of state today. Ugh.
• I really want a glass of water but I don’t want to get up off the couch and no one else is here to bring me any water.
• I can’t stop reading the most appalling blog ever, but for fear of offending the author or said blog, I will not link to it. It’s a train wreck and I’m consistently appalled by everything that is posted. I wish I could stop but I just cannot.
• I don’t have an audiobook to listen to on my way to work tomorrow because I just finished The Host (again).
• Scott Foley is on Grey’s Anatomy this season. While this fact does not upset me, the fact that Felicity ended after four seasons does. Even though Noel drove me up a fucking wall on Felicity, I have a deep, almost unhealthy love for that show.
• The library in my town would not issue me a library card today because my address actually resides within the next tiny county. It was explained to me that while I can use the system of libraries for which I tried to obtain a library card today, I have to have my card issued at the tiny piece of shit library I didn’t know existed in my county. Ugh. Why does everything have to be so difficult?
• My iPod will not sync with my iTunes. I don’t know what to do.
• Where the hell did Anna Nalick go? I loved her first album. And let’s just get real for a minute: who didn’t love “Breathe (2 AM)”?!?!?
• I can’t decide if I’m happy about the change I made in the format/design of my blog.

I’m just whiney right now.

Every time I turn around, brothers gather ’round, always lookin’ at me up and down, lookin’ at my ohhh? I just wanna say it now, I ain’t tryin’ to round up drama little mama, I don’t wanna take your man. And I know I’m comin’ off just a little bit conceited and I keep on repeatin’ how the boys wanna eat it but I’m tryin’ to tell that I won’t be treated like clientele, ’cause they say she’s delicious…!

Due to poor planning on my part, I don’t have anything today.

I was feeling uninspired last night when I tried to write, so I decided I’d wait until today to do it, like normal. But today, I was busy. And then when I had time to write, I didn’t feel the creative thoughts rolling around in my noggin. Then I forgot it it was Tuesday once I got home from class tonight. And now it’s technically almost Wednesday, and I’ve got nothing.

So, with that said, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry I’m such a terrible blogger.

I’m sorry to have let you down.

But, on the plus side, here’s this:

This gets me every single time.

Oh, on second thought, I did discover something today:

After a long, long time of forgetting it existed, I fell in love with Fergie’s album from 2006. Again.

And after a long, long time of not hearing “Fergalicious” I found out I can do the tiny little rap-like breakdown she does in the middle of the song. Flawless. Like a pro. I’m practically Fergie I’m so good at it.

You’re jealous.

I know.

I mean, I remember when I was an idiot and 19 years old and Sar and Erica and I would practice it, trying to figure out what she was saying and then working on being able to say it just like her. I remember being really happy with myself after I taught myself how to do it. I may have even called my boyfriend at the time and behaved like a ninny, all excited and ready to display this newfound talent. But I also remember he was not as impressed with this skill as I was.

Maybe that’s why he’s not my boyfriend now.

oh hot damn, this is my jam, keep me partyin’ til the AM, y’all don’t understand, make me throw my hands in the ayer, ay, ayer, ayer, ay, ayerrr

Let’s just talk really quick about what a slacker I am.

I know it’s Thursday, and I need to post today. But honestly, guys, I’m just not in it to win it today.

All I really want to do right now is paint my nail and watch the episode of  The Hills that I missed on Tuesday due to my accounting class.

I’m thinking I’m going to paint my nails turquoise again (I know you care so much).

This week has been cray cray and I should have known today would be outta control by the communication-fail I experienced at starbucks this morning.

Okay, fine. I’ll tell you that story.

It stems back to last night. Last night being a Wednesday. You know, hump day. The middle of the week. A work-day. A day that came before another day at work.

This, apparently, was not enough to deter me from getting completely tanked last night. It was an accident, but whatever. I knew it was trouble when I was only two mojitos in and I was “multitasking” in the bathroom (read: applying chapstick for five minutes and forgetting what I was doing in there anyway). I couldn’t really feel my lips anymore and my filter was letting up so aaaaall kinds of crap was coming out of my mouth. Because this wasn’t bad enough, we ordered a pitcher of sangria. For two of us.

Good decisions all around.

Obviously, this morning was a little less than perfect. Everything seemed just a little harder than usual but I felt pretty okay. My head wasn’t pounding. I didn’t want to die. I counted it as a success.

I stopped at starbucks on the way to work. A girl’s gotta get her caramel macchiato on.

I get the same thing basically every time. In the summer, a grande extra caramel caramel macchiato with light ice is my jam. It just rolls off my tongue when the employees ask me what they can get started. This morning was sooooo not right. I honestly have no idea what I said to the poor male barista who had the unfortunate task of speaking to me. All I got back was a blank stare and no movement of that sharpie poised in his right hand.

(In other news: I wish I was left handed)

So I guess I started over. “Caramel macchiato?” Luckily he was already holding a grande sized cup for iced beverages. It’s like he just knew what I was trying to say.

I nodded and told him grande, iced. Yes.

Then I threw in “extra caramel? Did I already say that??”

Totally left that part out.

Everything ended up being okay. But I was embarrassed. Especially when I added the ammendment “light ice! please!” to my beverage as the girl making my drink turned around to do the ice part. She hates me, I’m sure of it.

I shouldn’t be allowed in public.

Now that you’ve gotten the play-by-play of my starbucks experience, and I have inevitably bored you to tears, I will say goodnight now.

xoxo