Tag Archive: sickness


I have talked a lot lately about how sick I have been.

The thing is… I really thought I was getting better.

Even when I went to hang out with Grandma yesterday, I kept talking about how much better I feel from the misery I experienced last week, when I thought I wanted to die.  No matter how many times I watched Tangled, I still felt like death.  I still went to bed taking a pretty intense drug cocktail and woke up each morning taking that same mix of medications.

I have since weaned myself off of most of the drugs and have been living life among the living and well. Finally.

Except a couple days ago, I noticed that every time I yawned my throat screamed at me to stop doing that. It was always like, Bitch, I wouldn’t do that if I were you. But, like, sometimes you just gotta yawn. Just like sometimes, when I’m at the grocery store and I am reaching to the top shelf to try to grab a box of risotto and a stretch comes outta nowhere, you just gotta go with it. So yeah, I just stood on that bottom shelf at the store and stretched my body all over the other types of rice on the shelves. I didn’t care that it was a Saturday afternoon and there were hoards of people walking by. You just gotta go with it. You can’t fight it. Because it just feels too good.

So as I was sitting on the couch, just doing nothing and basking in my unshowered sickness, I yawned. I disregarded my throat’s warning and immediately wished I had stifled the shit out of that yawn.

My throat is on fire.

At first it was just when I yawned or when I swallowed. And it came and went, or I just didn’t notice it.  But tonight, the fire is raging unapologetically. My throat is not speaking to me other than to say fuck you; I hurt, too.

So we’re both very unhappy and I’m at a loss. I took some Tylenol to help with the pain, but it hurt going down and I just want to find a garden gnome and drop kick it. I feel like that sensation would make me feel better. I mean, I’m trying my best to not yawn. And not swallow. (Not in a dirty way, you sickos!) Which, let me tell you, is difficult.

I keep being told to go back to the doctor, but I’m seriously avoiding that. I just found a doctor locally and I don’t want them to think I’m using them to get drugs. I’m really not. I just haven’t been this sick in a while and it’s not my fault that I had a muscle spasm and then got a really nasty sinus infection and that my muscle spasm didn’t go away for, like, two weeks. I can’t help it that now that all of that original stuff seems like it has finally sorted itself out, my throat is filled with the wrath of the devil.

My life is so hard.

Advertisements

I am finally on the mend from being sick but still don’t feel normal.  I’m still a hot damn mess. My daily drug cocktail is outrageous and I am still amazed that I can take so much medication and still feel this awful. My body hurts. I have gone through at least three boxes of Kleenex this week. I have a really sexy cough that sounds like my lungs are rattling.  My voice is all snorkly. I sniffle and breathe out of my mouth. It’s disgusting.

I will take this time to tell you that I am well aware that my posts of late have been lacking, even prior to the sickness I have contracted.

To say the very least I have been extremely uninspired. I have come to dread having to sit down to write something.  I don’t know what has changed or what is different that has made me feel this way.

Probably four weeks ago, I had my first very serious thought of ending this.  I keep thinking I should just give up, quit. And then sometimes I reel it in and think perhaps I’d just take a break, a little hiatus, if you will. But I always talk myself out of it and convince myself that next week, next week will suck less and I’ll churn out something funny or worth reading.  No such luck.

So, let me just put it out there: I am so sorry.  I am sorry that coming here sucks now. You, my dear reader, are wonderful, and every time you visit my blogy-blog, I am so grateful.  Truly.  Even when you just pop by on accident or when you click on over and read without comment- I appreciate it. Even when you search something weird, like “dogs pooping on couch” or “grandma is obsessed with me” and end up here wondering what kind of fuckery is this?!, I’m glad you came by at all. If my words matter to you and/or if you look forward to getting a glimpse at how I view the world, I am sorry I have been really sucking it up lately.

I just wanted to acknowledge to you that I am well aware that it hasn’t been good lately.

Or, if you’re thinking it’s never been good and why do I even bother, then, well, uhmmmm… I guess this is just confirmation. So, good job! Go me, for reinforcing your original thought.

Here’s my promise: I will start putting forth real effort.  I will try to feel excited about blogging again. I will plan ahead. I will recapture my child-like wonder.  I will tell you about my love of Smokey the Bear. I will tell you things I’m excited about.  I’ll reinvest myself in you. I will reinvest in accomplishing a personal goal.  I will follow-through. Even when I don’t feel like it.

I feel good about this.  Thanks for listening!

Check back! Hold me accountable! Harass me when you hate something I do or say! Tell me what you want to read about! Let me know if something makes you laugh- or if you feel the same way!

I can’t blog today. I’m sick.

I’m fairly certain I’m dying. And if it’s not that I’m dying, I wish it was because I am miserable.

1.) I watched a few episodes of The West Wing on dvd today.

2.) These episodes were viewed with subtitles.

3.) I enjoy subtitles. I think it’s funny to take note of when the actors say exactly what the tv says they say. Actors talk a lot more than the tv says. I like that.

4.) It is still my belief that Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, that TV show from 2006 that aired on NBC for one season, should never have been canceled. I loved everything about it. I hate NBC for canceling it.

5.) I miss Matthew Perry. And not the Matthew Perry in 17 Again because that was an awkward, old-looking Matthew Perry. I refuse to accept that image of him as reality.

6.) Everyone must see Easy A, that new teen movie with Emma Stone and Penn Badgley that references The Scarlet Letter. It was hilarious and I pretty much loved everything about it. Go. See. It.

7.) My voice has returned from when I was sick last week. I no longer sound like I’m dying, nor do I sound like a man. Yay!

8.) I really, really want chinese food. It feels like it’s been forever since I’ve had chinese food.

9.) Drew’s in Germany. We dropped him off at the airport in Detroit last night. Mom cried.

So, as I told you earlier this week, I’m sick.

It’s really just a bad cold, but it’s completely wiped me out. And I can’t really breathe, so I’ve become a mouth-breather which both annoys and upsets me. I also basically have no voice, so that’s awesome. And when people interact with me, the know I’m sick and pretty much just want me to not touch, breathe on, or be near anything.

So today I just basked in my own sickness, pretty much.

I began my day with my “daily alarm” on my phone going off. I didn’t have to have a “daily alarm” today since I wasn’t going to work. This daily alarm very deeply confused me. It was still dark out and it was as if I lost all ability to read a clock. The numbers meant nothing to me. And then I couldn’t figure out what the noise was or how to make it stop. Finally, I figured it out and zonked back out. The meds I took before going to bed should have worn off by the time the alarm went off, but I was seriously confused.

I woke up and decided to watch Shakespeare in Love. I had never seen it before and let me just tell you this: I loooooved it. I decided that I must own that movie.

After I finished that movie, I thought I should probably work on my hygiene. I took a shower, mostly because I hoped that the steam from the shower would let me be able to breathe.

It should also be noted that the only good part about being sick is that it’s a perfectly legitimate excuse to do absolutely nothing but chill out and watch movies. All day long. There is no guilt associated with the degree of lazy being sick allows.  That’s the silver lining.

I watched a lot of tv today. I caught up on all the new tv shows that I have missed. There is way too much on tv for anyone to possibly be able to watch it when it’s actually on. I just have so many shows I would like to watch and not enough time to watch them all. Are you ready for my list?  Can you handle it?

MONDAY:

TUESDAY:

WEDNESDAY:

I have nothing listed.

THURSDAY:

See?! It’s obscene! There’s no way I can watch all of that. PLUS, The Good Wife is coming back soon and I really, really like that show.  So that’ll be one more show I won’t have time to watch. Luckily, it’s possible to watch tv online. But still. Finding the time to do that is hard. Maybe I should hope to get more gnarly colds like this one. Because today has afforded me to watch a lot of tv today. I’m practically all caught-up.

What shows do you watch? Is your tv schedule as obscene as mine? What shows am I missing?!?!