Tag Archive: justin bieber

I really, really love this.

It cracks me up every time I see it.

Also, today has been insanely busy and productive.  (Included in the long list of things that were actually productive, I tweeted to Justin Bieber today. I know you’re curious about what I tweeted to him, so I’ll tell you.)

Bahahahahaha Yup. I corrected his spelling. lol Gawd, I crack myself up!

All I want to do now, after what a day I have had, is crawl in bed and watch The Office on DVD. I can’t care about anything else today. Including this. And by “this” i mean writing this post.

So, even though I know you stopped by for your daily dose of awesome, I’m going to pretend it’s not Thursday and not feel guilty for all of the fail that is living here in this post.


Also, who the fuck would ever get with Mike “The Situation” I-don’t-know-his-last-name??? Ew. No thank you.

Lately, I just have a deep respect for the comedic gold that comes out of Kanye West.

I just turn into a gigglebox whenever I read that he has spoken publicly.

A while back I came across a snippet of something awesome. I thought it was funny the first time I watched it but I moved on, you know? Watched it once and called it good. Sure, it was funny but there was probably news about Justin Bieber I needed to get to.

So two weeks ago I was at dinner with my girlfriends and we got to talking about twitter.  At least, I think we were talking about twitter. It turned into us laughing loudly about how my fifteen year old stepbrother tweets to celebrity the most random things:

@50cent what’s up! What are u up to lately? When u gonna be a billionaire?

Or this gem:

@SouljaBoy upload a picture of all your chains

Anyway, we then transitioned to the video of that something awesome I was telling you about.  Josh Groban singing Kanye’s tweets.

Zomg I die.

It is so far beyond funny I can’t even … there’s not a word for it!  I literally cannot stop laughing.  It’s SO good.

I especially love the conference table tweet. Oh, and the “I love me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” tweet. So. Good.

And now, I’ll leave you with this:


I have no words.

Comedic genius.

1.) Mickey Rourke freaks me the eff out.

2.) I really love watching Jersey Shore, even though I feel like it makes me dumber every passing minute. It’s also bad for society. We shouldn’t be rewarding that kind of behavior. Too bad it’s entertaining as hell.

3.) I’m (still) in love with Eminem (or, all over again, rather.)

4.) I am psyched for the VMAs tonight.  Chelsea Handler is hosting. It’s going to be amazing. Ohhhh, and Justin Bieber is performing. Win.

5.)  I read Diablo Cody’s memoir, Candy Girl: A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper in almost one sitting. I loved it. It was outrageous and hilarious. And dirty and kind of gross. But, whatever. I was entertained.

6.) I juuuuust started reading The Pact: A Love Story by Jodi Picoult.  I’m really excited. I think it’s going to be awesome.

7.) The sun is shining through the window directly into my eyes. I hope I don’t go blind.

9.) This is the second Sunday in row that I have made a list of random things.

10.) I think I’m going to continue this trend. I like it. I like lists.

11.) Get on board, readers. This is just the beginning of this List of Random Shit Sundays thing.

There’s a story that seems to come up all the time at work. It gets talked about between us girls and it gets told in front of our customers. It’s all-around excellent, always appropriate story.

If dead animals and murder are always appropriate and excellent.

One morning, I was driving to work. I wasn’t running late, I wasn’t in a hurry, I wasn’t feeling rushed. I was just driving, like normal. I was probably listening to Justin Bieber. I had probably stopped at starbucks and thought it had the promise of a good day.

And then a squirrel darted across the street. And then it stopped. And it turned around, darting back the way it came. And then it stopped again. And turned around to go the way it was originally going. And then it stopped.

I watched all of this happen.  And I thought it was finally gonna cross the street. So I took my foot off the brake and started to accelerate again.

Then the little guy changed his mind one last time. I didn’t have time to stop. I wanted to, really. I can’t even tell you how badly I wanted to stop the car. But, dear readers, even with cat-like reflexes, that little squirrel couldn’t be saved. I ran the squirrel over.

I’m a murderer.

At that moment, I burst into tears.

Then, I busted out my phone and mass-texted the shit out of my phonebook. I texted my dad, my mom, two or three of my coworkers, and a couple other friends. It was highly upsetting.

My parents tried to make me feel better by sharing their roadkill woes. It didn’t work.

When I got to work, I still couldn’t shake the feeling of being a murderer.  I had stopped crying, but I still felt really bad.  My first customer asked me how I was doing, and he got an answer he definitely hadn’t been anticipating.

“Well, I ran over a squirrel this morning, so now I’m a murderer. Today’s not going how I thought it was gonna go.”


And then my coworkers piped up with tons of laughter and did work to make what just came out of my mouth way less awkward.

It’s now a classic tale shared with all. I enjoy that this story is shared with friends and strangers alike. I enjoy that months later this story comes up out of nowhere and takes the workplace by storm. The story goes over really, really well too. There’s just something about me, I guess, that makes people find murder endearing.

I just spent the last twenty minutes Googling “Nickelback sucks.”

His. Hair. Is. Sick. 😦

I can’t really explain what prompted me to do this. All I can say is I completely agree with those people who go about their lives vehemently hating Nickelback.

The magnitude of suckage is beyond words, I guess. Beyond the usual “all of their songs sound exactly the same” and “that lead singer’s hair is disgusting” I don’t really have much of an argument. All I really have to add to the table is that I think Nickelback sucks too. (Although I am sad to report I do have more than one song of theirs in my itunes. 😦 Yes, I’m embarrassed.)

I did learn, however, that Nickelback is “a Canadian rock band,” says wikipedia.

Cute as a button!

Go back to Canada, is what I have to say about that. I will gladly keep Justin Bieber over here in the US, and Canada can have Nickelback (and the lead singer’s sick hair) back.

Upon doing “research” for this post, I have found that Nickelback is not very relevant (anymore??). And by research, I mean that I had a conversation with my mom. And by relevant, I mean that I think they should find Tom Cruise, Mel Gibson, Spencer Pratt, and Dina Lohan and just go the eff away.

Do you know who Nickelback is, or what it is?

Yeah, it’s like a band, right? Or a person.

What are your thoughts?

My thoughts are that they’re like… gangsters.

Mom, nickelback is a rock band from Canada.

They’re just not good people.

I don’t even know what that conversation means. But I like everything about it. And I laughed really hard while it transpired.

Moral of the Story: Nickelback Sucks.


OMG hi. How ARE you?! It’s been, what….? TWO DAYS?! I’ve missed you SO much.

Mmmkay, now that that’s over, uhm, here’s just a few random things swirlin’ around in my noggin.

1.) The library wants me soooo bad. I’ve been getting emails from the library like cray cray, so I just know how bad it wants me. It’s always like, Hey you should stop by today after work…. or it’s like, hey girl, maybe you could swing by today, just for a minute. And I’m always like, Damn, I have stuff to do. But,like, yeah, I guess I could…, I’ll stop by later.

I finally stopped by after I got my oil changed today (omg ew) and I had a shit-ton of shit waiting for me.  First, I had to drop off Dexter, Season 3 because it was, like, totally almost overdue. And the library is a dickhead about late fees. So, Whatever. I gave in there. But in return, I got season 6 of Dawson’s Creek, season 2 of Burn Notice and three John Legend CDs. I probably know only like two John Legend songs but whatever. I’m diversifying my itunes. The library doesn’t judge.  Me and the Library? Our relationship is pretty much give and take. But mostly take, because it’s great like that.  And there’s really not much drama until I keep stuff for too long, but like I said, it’s a dickhead about late fees. I’m teaching it a lesson right now and holding my account balance at a solid $8.00. ‘Cause I’m a free bitch, baby.

2.) I had to make a cut to the list of people I follow on Twitter today. I juuuust did it. Like five minutes ago. I couldn’t take it anymore. And that sucks because I do kinda feel bad when I do that.

A few months ago, I had to un-follow Anderson Cooper. And that really cut me deep because he’s all kiiiiiiiiinds of sexy. But I just really didn’t need all of those informative, news-related tweets infiltrating my homepage filled with the brilliant thoughts of those like Kim Kardashian, Stephanie Pratt, Justin Bieber, and Chunk Handler (yes, Chelsea Handler’s dog). So, sexy-as-fuck AC got the axe.

Five minutes ago, Pauly D (yes, from Jersey Shore– and YES, I’m embarrassed to even admit this) was on the chopping block. I’m pretty sure Mike “The Situation” Whatever-his-name-is is next. Because Seriously, the retweet the shit out of people who even mention them. And that’s annoying as fuuuuuuck. Also, I really don’t want them to take over the world. So I guess I didn’t feel that bad about getting rid of him.

3.) Bad news, guys. I gotta go because I have to go work on my accounting project. So, I guess this is it until next time.


I had just gotten out of the shower and started my morning routine of blasting Justin Bieber while getting ready when I heard  the ever-familiar, Hello, Kaaate?

So I leaned over the balcony in my robe and said, “Yeah?”

Oh! You are here! When you have a moment, can you come down here? I have a list of questions for you!

Pause. “Yeahhhh.”

After getting myself mostly ready to gtfo leave and stop by Nikki’s before heading home-home, I made my way downstairs and met Grandma in the kitchen. The Today show was on. She got up from her chair at the kitchen table and stood in front of me. We were to begin our conversation.

We discussed many things, most of which I will share with you now:

1.) Grandma had been reading The Last Song by Nicholas Sparks. We had previously talked about how much she hated Ronnie, the main character (aka Miley Cyrus’ character). She wanted to tell me she truly enjoyed the end, and she could understand how it could make a good movie. The turtles, the church fire, the stained-glass window, the juvenile love story, and the adoring father.

2.) I was to bring a shower curtain liner home with me. (???)

3.) What is an elliptical machine?

4.) Sally (Nikki’s precious dog aka my new baby) is welcome at Grandma’s house but she has to rinse and dry her feet before she comes in the house.

5.) She now has Facebook. And has no idea how it works or what to do with it.

Kate, if I wanted- I don’t want to now, but if I wanted to some other time- how would I write something on your mother’s Face?

“Okay, see that white box? No, not that- yeah, that white box. The one that says write something. Yeah, that. You write something in there. And then- yes, you press the share button. Yes.”

Okay, well, thank you! I’m going to take my walk now. Drive safe!

She’s adorable.

We’re not friends on Facebook.

PS. I have Bieber-Fever. In a big way. Still.