Tag Archive: carrie underwood


I don’t usually remember my dreams.

But sometimes I do.

And I have noticed a pattern to it.

The only dreams I remember are the ones where I’m about to die.

I just can't look at it the same way....

Like that time I dreamt that my house was being broken into and explosions were going off and there was a hostage situation. Or that time I dreamt that a man lived down the street had lured me into his creepy-as-fuck house only for me to find my loved ones and close, beloved family friends all dead, hanging like marionettes (read: *NSYNC-style) in boxes in his giant living room and him chasing me around his property with a sawed-off shotgun and machete. Or that time I dreamt I was being locked in some type of school gymnasium with a fuck-ton of people because wherever the hell we were was on “lockdown” and we were all safe in the gym but then some man told us we have “two minutes to get out because this place is gonna blow the fuck up” and I woke up in a panic.

 

SEE?! This is not okay!!

I woke up this morning and my face was wet and I couldn’t breathe.

I woke up and realized I had been crying in my sleep.

This time was different. I wasn’t dreaming I was dying or about to die. I dreamt that Drew had died.

Why the fuck?! WHY?!

Do you know how disturbing that was?!

That’s my baby brother. That cannot happen. Ever. He can never die.

I was a mess in my whole dream. I was running around like a ninny, completely out of control and inconsolable. I was completely irrational and out of my mind. It was awful.

I can’t even talk about it.

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One of my childhood memories includes our endless roadtrips to Florida for family vacations. At least once a year for a long time, we would drive down to Florida. This was before there were DVD players built into vehicles.

Mostly, I remember spending my time coloring in the backseat and ending up with some pretty jank coloring pages. I also remember singing along to Disney movie soundtracks at the top of my lungs. There were also some very long naps.

The other thing I remember is listening to Charlotte’s Web as a book on tape.

Dude. Why on earth did I ever stop listening to books on tape?!

All you have to do is sit there and listen to someone read to you.

It’s not even like that lame reading aloud we had to do in elementary school, you know, when you had to follow along. Or when you sounded like you had a stutter because reading out loud in front of people is hard. Or when you had to play that game where someone would be reading and then, like a dick, that someone would shout “popcorn!” and call your name and you were supposed to start reading but because you were busy picking at the chipped nail polish on your fingers or worried about the hole in the crotch of your leggings (because that’s all I wore in third grade, apparently! Thanks a whooooole lot, Mom!) you hadn’t been following along so you looked like an asshole.

What? I’m not bitter.

That is the best idea ever. Books on tape, that is. Not that shitty “popcorn” reading game.

I feel really good about this audiobook idea.

That’s why, when Harry Potter 7 came out and I hadn’t had time to read the book again before seeing the movie, I decided, OH EM GEE, I can totally just listen to it on CD!

Luckily, my mother is addicted to her ipod and happens to be a huuuuge fan of audiobooks. I never thought I’d be happy about that fact, but I think she might be on to something.

I listened to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows on CD. First thing in the morning, as I was getting ready for work in the morning, I’d fire up whatever disk I was on and let Jim Dale’s voice fill my ears of Harry’s last quest for goodness to conquer evil.

Once I finished Harry Potter, I perused my library’s choices of audiobooks.  I decided upon Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult. I seriously love her books. I never know what is going to happen. The ending is always a surprise, and that’s really awesome for books. I highly recommend pretty much anything by her. I read The Pact by her earlier this fall and that book was also excellent!

Finally, today, I started Goodnight Nobody by Jennifer Weiner. I enjoy her books as well. It may seem silly, but I actually was carrying the paperback version of this book around in my purse for probably a month. I hadn’t gotten past the first chapter. With the audiobook, I can listen while I get ready in the morning, I can take the book with me in the car on the way to work or when I’m just running around town. SO CONVENIENT!!

I’m seriously obsessed.

I’m never reading a real book ever again.

(Writing that kind of broke my heart. I take it back. I heart real books!)

1.) The only reason I enjoyed this Sunday is because I know I don’t have to be at work tomorrow because of Columbus Day. Love Love Love.

2.) You know how in Jersey Shore the boys sing “T shirt tiiiiiiiiiime!  T shirt tiiiiiiiime!” over and over before they go out and while they wear the “shirt before the shirt”?? Well, I love that they do that. It cracks me up. And last night before we went out, Megan and I sang “T shirt tiiiiiiiiime!” and it was awesome. We didn’t change our clothes for the song or anything but it was cool anyway.

3.) I was supremely hungover today.

4.) MSU beat U of M yesterday. I’m not a huge sports fan, as you know, but I really, really love the rivalry between the two schools, and it just feels really good to know that my school is better than that other school for another year.  I actually did watch the second half of the game, though, so I felt like I participated in the win.  I took a nap during the first half. It was a good one.

5.) I went to a hockey game with my friends from work on Friday. I know I have talked about this before, but I’m gonna say it again because it’s still definitely true. Yes, hockey is hot. It is. But I just can’t get past the violence. It’s so violent. And the refs just allow the fighting. I can’t understand that! If that was my honey out there, I wouldn’t be able to watch. How does Carrie Underwood do it?! And then at one of the breaks between periods (yeah, I know there are three periods in a hockey game), there was this hockey team made up of little kids. They were so precious. And I got worried and a little upset because someday if I have babies I just don’t think I could watch my little one play hockey. I would cry the whole time and be like DON’T HURT MY BABY!!! I’m such a pansy. The hockey game really made me want to watch the Mighty Ducks trilogy.

6.) My class ends this week. I am SO excited for this class to be over. This has been the most frustrating class of my MBA program and it’s deeply upsetting. I had a meltdown a couple weeks ago about it. I just can’t get an A in this class to save my life. It really, really bothers me!

7.) Speaking of my class ending, that means I have a week of no classes before the next session starts. During that week, I will be on vacation. Starting this Friday after work, I will have an entire week of vacation. I’m not going anywhere, so it’s a stay-cation but I’m still really excited. I have so much to do! I need to get a haircut, finalize my Halloween costume, and help Mom move to the new house! Busy, busy, busy!!

8.) I am watching How I Met Your Mother again. Season 3 this time. I just finished the episode where Barney and Robin sleep together. Ted got really mad but I totally dig the idea of Barney and Robin together. I have trouble reminding myself that tv shows aren’t real life and that those people don’t actually exist.

Today is July 4th.

That means that it’s Independence Day here in the lovely United States of America. The Land of the Free.

I learned yesterday on the conference call at work that 26% of American’s have no clue what that means.

The question posed to all of us yesterday on the call was “What percentage of Americans do not know what country the United States gained their independence from?” and the girls at work were like “KATIE!”, which meant I was to un-mute our phone and chime in with my answer, which was 24%. Because I just know random stuff like that. I didn’t chime in. But other people did, and they threw out answers like 76% and 5%  because they obviously lack the weird trivia knowledge I have been blessed with. But whatever, I was like, “it’s probably, like, 24% or something.” And then he told us the answer.

26%.

What the fuck? How does that happen?!

That is more than a quarter of Americans. One in 4 Americans have no effing idea. THE HORROR!

That’s just appalling. Because you knowww that it is precisely that 26% of Americans that celebrate this day hardcore. They’re the ones riding their John Deere mowers in their town’s 4th-Of-July Parade. They’re the ones who are grilling out and eating massive quantities of potato salad (yum, by the way!). They’re the ones who have more than one cooler filled with American-made beer in their back yard, on their boat, in their kid’s stroller, their golf bag, the plastic pool intended for small children (or family pets). That 26% dresses in red, white, and blue, buys illegal fireworks and blows shit up because it’s freakin’ independence day!

But that 26% has no clue that it was Great Britain. Idiots.

Anyway, I wanted to talk about something else that is important.

I was thinking this morning after reflecting on a particularly disturbing dream (read: free willy eats family friend- sad times!).  Marine creatures kinda freak me out. And I remembered that Brittany, aka the best character on Glee, made a comment about sharks and dolphins. I think she said “did you know dolphins are just gay sharks?”  I’m convinced she’s right.

All of this led me to this conclusion:

Manatees are just retarded dolphins.

Happy 4th of July, my lovelies! 🙂

Please be safe- don’t blow your hand or face off and don’t drink and drive!