Category: In the Kitchen


I made something in the kitchen today other than a small fire.

I know, you’re proud. I can hear your applause right now.

Now, this is something we usually only make in the fall, but, dude, I got home from work tonight and was like I NEED PUMKIN CAKE RIGHT NOW ASAP so I just fuckin’ did it. And let me tell you, it’s as good as I remember from November.

I didn’t think to take pictures while I was in the process of actually making it, but when I went to eat it, I decided it was too good to just hoard and not share with you.  So, here, my friends, is a delicious recipe for a lovely fall dessert.

(It just isn’t seasonally appropriate anymore, but whatevs, I still dig it.)

Ingredients:

  • 1 can Evaporated Milk
  • 3 Large Eggs
  • 1 ¼ tsp Cinnamon
  • ½ tsp Nutmeg*
  • ½ tsp Salt
  • 1 cup Sugar
  • 1 can Pumpkin (13 oz)
  • 1 pkg Yellow Cake Mix
  • ½ cup butter (softened/melted)
  • 1 carton Cool Whip (or other whipped topping)

Instructions:

  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit
  2. Mix evaporated milk, eggs, cinnamon, nutmeg, salt, sugar, and pumpkin in a bowl.  Pour mixture into a greased and floured 9 x 13 pan.
  3. Mix cake mix with ½ cup melted butter.
  4. Crumble cake/butter mixture on top of pumpkin mixture.
  5. Bake at 350 for 40 minutes.
  6. Let cool.
  7. Serve with Cool Whip (or other whipped topping).
  8. ZOMG Yum!

Oh, heavens to Betsy, No! You MUST add the Cool Whip! It’s just not the same without it!!

Oh, yes, yes, yes!! That’s the ticket!!

Excuse me while I go enjoy my pumpkin cake!!

*”Oh, Meg, my little flower, my little bird, my little Nut Meg!”

Name that movie!!

Have a wonderful holiday weekend!!

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So, I went out on the town with a couple girlfriends last weekend. It was the first time I did something social on the weekend in a month. I’m not kidding.

Oh, except for the weekend before, when the two other legs of the tripod came to my house and we stayed in and watched movies in our jammies.

Anyway.

For this night out, I made jello shots. It was the first time since junior year of college that I had anything to do with jello shots. I think a few years apart did some good. I wasn’t as irresponsible this time as I was when I was 20 years old. Well, irresponsible in the sense that I didn’t black out and throw up for two days.  There was no blacking out nor was there vomit this time. Just other… less-than-wise decisions were made.

I’m putting last Saturday night in the win column.

It seems that the only things I can successfully create in the kitchen are alcohol-related.

Without further ado…

ZOMG Yum!

  • 6 ounces of Jello (the big box!)
  • 16 ounces boiling water
  • 6 ounces cold water
  • 10 ounces alcohol

I used Bacardi Razz, obviously, to go with my raspberry jello but you can use whatever flavor jello and kind of alcohol you like!

The first thing I did was boil some water. I didn’t watch the pot the whole time, though, because we all know a watched pot never boils. (hahaha)

Then I poured the boiling water into a big measuring cup.

Next, I dissolved the jello dust into the boiling water.

Once the jello was completely dissolved, I poured in the cold water and my alcohol of choice.

PRETTY!!!

While the water was boiling, I set up the little cups the mixture was going to be going into.

I used the smallest little Dixie cups I could find. I put them in a cake pan type thingy to keep them all in one place and to cut down on the mess I was inevitably going to make.

I filled each cup a little less than half-full.

Told you I’m a mess-maker.

It was after this that I realized that using a ladle would be way easier.

This proved to be much easier. And less messy.

Once all of this alcoholic liquid was poured (or ladled) into the tiny cups, I was done! It was time to refrigerate those little babies.

pretty!!!!

I didn’t remember to get (attractive) pictures of them when we were consuming them. I did, however, manage to snipe a pic of Chiefy for you. He has a weird thing happening with his eyes, so we can pretend that it’s because he’s drunk/hungover even though it was mostly that I woke him up from a little catnap because he looked too cute for words all curled up on his blankie.

how cute is he!?!? Crazy eyes and all!

I didn’t make any resolutions for the New Year. I never do.

But something I do want to work on is learning how to cook.  My mom’s a really great cook and I really love The Pioneer Woman and she cooks.  I feel like it’s something I should learn to do.

I also don’t think I can get away with being a terrible cook my whole life.

Perhaps it’s not that I’m a bad cook, it’s just that I don’t cook. And lately, every time I attempt to do anything in the kitchen, I might as well just put money in the trash or light it on fire.  Either way, it’s a waste.

Well, friends, I’m about to work on that.  I’ll be fending for myself for almost two weeks and that means that I asked my mom a fuck-ton of questions on how to prepare food.  I have a feeling I’ll probably try to bite off more than I can chew and end up setting the kitchen on fire. That, or I’ll just end up eating cereal and cheese for two weeks.

I can’t be a baby forever, I guess.

Oh, and on an unrelated note, I had a complete nerd-alert moment last week.  I gave two grammar lessons on split infinitives. Each time, it was like I might as well have been talking to a pile of sweaters. I only mean that both parties were neither excited to learn about split infinitives nor were they particularly impressed with my knowledge of split infinitives.  Talking to a pile of sweaters would have elicited the same response: silence.

Now, split infinitives really aren’t a big deal. In fact, they’re not frowned upon like they used to be. But I encountered one in the group project I was working on last week for my finance class.  In one of the sections of our paper that one of my group members had written, I found one. I saw it and was like, oh heeeellllllll nahhhh.

So I changed that shit.

But the cherry on top of this story is that the next day, after I had provided my co-worker with a grammar lesson on split infinitives, I was watching Peter Pan. At the end, Captain Hook is surprised by something Peter does and shouts an exclamation.  Can you guess what his exclamation was?

“Split my infinitives!”

Ohhhhh yeahhhh.

I’m using that from now on.

I was going to try my hand at a domestic skill today.

Actually, I did try my hand at a domestic skill today. It wasn’t just an intention; I actually did it.

I planned on taking pictures of this foray into “cooking” and provide a little how-to for all of you to be able to try out the easiest little snack ever.

And when I say planned, I actually mean that I did take pictures.  But then… well, then I stopped taking pictures.

Please note that I did just say that this was the “easiest little snack ever.”

Well, let’s just get into this. And you’ll see what happened.

Here’s what you need:

Easiest. Snack. Ever.

Chocolate kisses, pretzels and M&Ms. That’s seriously it.

So, here’s a very important step. You must unwrap the chocolate kisses.

Next, you must place the pretzels onto a cookie sheet. Any size cookie sheet will do. And you don’t have to be as anal as I was about the placement of the pretzels but they should not overlap.

Once you’ve placed your pretzels on your cookie sheet, top each pretzel with a Kiss.

Okay, here’s where I stopped taking pictures.

I thought I was doing everything right. I had the oven set to 300 degrees Fahrenheit and I let the pretzel/kiss combo hang out for a couple minutes.

What is supposed to happen is that the Kiss will soften just enough that it is easy to push an M&M onto the top of it and it’ll smush down just the tiniest bit. Then you let them hang out to cool down and harden into one pretzel/kiss/M&M creation. Then you eat and enjoy.

But, uhm, that didn’t happen for me.

When I went to push an M&M onto one of the kisses, it didn’t work. There was no smush. The kiss was still hard. I thought I hadn’t waited long enough. Maybe a minute isn’t long enough.  So I put it back in the oven. And when I tried again, it still wasn’t soft enough. So then I turned the temperature of the oven up.  Like, way up. (I don’t know why I thought that was the best idea! Domestic skills clearly are not an instinct I possess!!) A minute later, I went to check on them and push an M&M into a kiss and ohhhhh no.

The chocolate had totally burned. And everything looked… not right.

I think it was just moments short of catching fire, to be honest.

So I looked at it and felt disappointed in myself. Then I threw it away and gave up.