Driving away from the wreck of the day, and it’s finally quiet in my head. Driving alone, finally on my way home to the comfort of my bed.

Things that upset me:

• Josh Duhamel is married to Fergie. Still.
• My local Target was all out of the eye shadow primer I use.
• I ran out of shampoo this morning.
• Miracle Whip has commercials on tv. I hate Miracle Whip. What the fuck is it??? Why?! Ew. Obviously, mayonnaise > miracle whip (why are they even comparable???).
• Creeper men keep hitting on me (including at my workplace!). No thank you!
• I went to the secretary of state today. Ugh.
• I really want a glass of water but I don’t want to get up off the couch and no one else is here to bring me any water.
• I can’t stop reading the most appalling blog ever, but for fear of offending the author or said blog, I will not link to it. It’s a train wreck and I’m consistently appalled by everything that is posted. I wish I could stop but I just cannot.
• I don’t have an audiobook to listen to on my way to work tomorrow because I just finished The Host (again).
• Scott Foley is on Grey’s Anatomy this season. While this fact does not upset me, the fact that Felicity ended after four seasons does. Even though Noel drove me up a fucking wall on Felicity, I have a deep, almost unhealthy love for that show.
• The library in my town would not issue me a library card today because my address actually resides within the next tiny county. It was explained to me that while I can use the system of libraries for which I tried to obtain a library card today, I have to have my card issued at the tiny piece of shit library I didn’t know existed in my county. Ugh. Why does everything have to be so difficult?
• My iPod will not sync with my iTunes. I don’t know what to do.
• Where the hell did Anna Nalick go? I loved her first album. And let’s just get real for a minute: who didn’t love “Breathe (2 AM)”?!?!?
• I can’t decide if I’m happy about the change I made in the format/design of my blog.

I’m just whiney right now.

And hiding beneath my blankets and sheets I’m finally free…

I’m a grump-monster when it comes to being woken up.

With that said, please know that I am fully aware that it’s a dick-move that I enjoy waking other people up when they are sleeping. I really enjoy scaring the hell out of my mom when she’s zonked out. I also enjoy drunk dialing my friends at 4am, knowing full well that they are fast asleep.

Once upon a time, Erica slept on the floor of the dorm room I shared with Sarah.

Erica had been sick and needed to rest. Erica’s roommate had been unsympathetic to her need to sleep in a dark, quiet place.  Her roommate was probably still bitter that we had completely trashed their dorm room one night she been gone and we had been drunk. We also apparently used her special blanket and eaten some of her crackers. Bitch held a grudge.

Nevertheless, Er took up residence on our floor and we stayed in and watched movies and went to bed early. It was lovely.

But sometime after all of us had fallen asleep, there suddenly was a lot of commotion.

I’m not sure what happened because I tried to sleep my way through it. I recall an obnoxious amount of light being turned on and I remember Sarah’s scared voice asking what to do when someone was in the need of contacting 911.

Erica was having trouble breathing. Asthma attack? Panic attack? Even now, I’m not too sure what happened.

I recall throwing LP over my face and trying to block out the light.

Even when Sarah asked me to call 911 while she tried to keep Erica from freaking the fuck out because she was like a thousand degrees and having trouble breathing, I whined and told her I didn’t know how to do it.

No one was particularly pleased with me nor were they grateful we were friends.

Next thing I know, ALL of the lights in our tiny square room were on and there were a couple (is that right??) of EMTs taking Erica’s blood pressure (or something?) and making sure she wasn’t going to die or anything.

As soon as it was over, I went back to sleep like it never happened.

I’m an asshole.

2 am and she calls me ’cause I’m still awake, “can you help me unravel my latest mistake?”

It is always been my strategy in school to procrastinate. My strategy in life is to avoid. They’re essentially the same.

Second semester of my senior year of college, I let procrastination (and probably my avoidance behavior) get to a new level. I remember hating myself then more than any other semester because of the procrastination. What I learned from it, however, is that there is nothing I can’t do if I set my mind to it.

Every week in my womens’ studies class we had a reflection paper due. This reflection paper required critical thinking and (obviously) reflection on whatever piece of reading we were to have completed over the course of the week. It was to prepare us for discussion. Every week, it meant I had a book to read and deep thoughts to think.

I tease my brother that he doesn’t know how to balance having a social life, school/homework and an actual job because his school is screwy and makes them work three months and then go back to school for three months, and then go back to work, so on and so forth. This means he never EVER balances all three. I balanced all three while I was in college.

You probably shouldn't bother me. I'm obviously very busy and important.

My point is that I tend to have excellent time management skills. I am a freak about how I spend my time, who gets to control the time I have, and what I do with said time. So, the fact I procrastinate has nothing to do with me having poor time management skills. It’s a choice. I choose to wait to the last minute to do everything.

It was my choice to wait to begin reading my women’s studies reading material until the night before it was due. For example, it was my choice to start reading Glass Castle (Sweet Jesus, I hated that book!) at 11:30 pm (after I got home from work, made some dino nuggets, changed into sweat pants, took my contacts out and set up my “reading nest” in the corner of my room). It was my choice to stay up until 4:30 am hating my life until I finished the most absurd book I’ve probably ever read. It was also my choice to then sit myself down at my desk and pen a reflection paper filled with critical thinking and deep, refelctive thoughts. Just like it was my choice to start writing my 15+ page final research paper twelve hours before it was due.

I think it’s clear I make really good choices.

And even now, when I should be writing a paper for my HR class, here I am, writing this little love letter about procrastination to all of you delightful readers of my blog.

I guess what I wanted to tell you was, there must be something wrong with me. Or maybe this tendency to procrastinate means something, maybe it tells you something about me. Maybe it means I live for the drama. I crave the excitement. I can’t function without the rush of adrenaline coursing through my veins. I need to hear that tiny voice in my head say, “Maybe you can’t do it! Maybe you suck, Katie! Maybe you won’t finish and you’ll fail the assignment and then have to drop out of school because you suck so much!” only so I can prove it wrong.

Either way, it’s how I work. And, really, the way I see it, it’s still pretty early that I can probably spit this paper out and be in bed by midnight watching Sleepless in Seattle.

Back to work I go.

What to write... what to write...?