Tag Archive: michigan state university


Two weeks ago, I asked someone to show me how to use my financial calculator.

I bought (and when I say “I,” I mean my mom bought me) said financial calculator four years ago. For my accounting class. Which I bombed.

Maybe if I would have known how to use my calculator I wouldn’t have sucked so hard at Accounting 201 at Michigan State. Or, maybe if I went to class when I wasn’t hungover and counting down the minutes until I got to leave I would have done marginally well. Or, maybe if I wouldn’t have taken those two pulls (I have a very low tolerance for alcohol, read: I’m what one would call a “lightweight”) from a bottle of Bacardi before the final I would have passed. There were probably many factors contributing to my lack of success.

Anyway, I finally know how to use a few of the functions on this financial calculator. Good news, considering I’m taking a finance class right now.

This boy (man?) who taught me how to use my calculator was someone who has been in at least two of my other classes but to whom I have never spoken. Tonight, we conversed even more. And not about how to use my calculator.

We talked about Jersey Shore.

It just brings people together.

I kind of love that about that show. It’s appalling and terrible for society. Every time I watch it, I always just wonder, is this real life?! And it never ceases to amaze me that those people are real. Despite knowing it adds no real value to society and probably makes me dumber when I watch it, I can’t stop. I am in it. It’s like I know better but keep making poor life choices. I’m like those idiot drug addicts on Intervention who keep doing dumb shit that is bad for them. The show cracks my shit up. I laugh out loud every single time I see an episode.

It sucked me in and won’t let me go!

Another thing that sucked me in? Pretty Little Liars on ABC Family.

What the fuck is that show? Seriously.

I read the first four books and then bailed because I decided I’m not a slutty 14-year-old, and the show had already started and I figured that was good enough. But then I stopped watching the show because I was always doing something else when it was on and it was just too much work to have to keep up online.

Here’s the thing though, I watched the season premiere this January and decided I would commit myself to it. Idiot. Because now I’m still doing something else when it comes on and that means I have to catch up online, which is exactly what happened last time! So today, I thought to myself, Self, it’s okay to not catch up on Pretty Little Liars. It’s okay to bail again. Just give it up. Let it go. It’s okay.

I felt good about this decision.

Until right now, when I saw a preview for next week’s Pretty Little Liars. It made me wanna watch it real bad. So I guess that’s that. I’m gonna make that effort to watch it.

Gosh, my life is so rough.

Ps. Betcha didn’t see Pretty Little Liars coming from the talk about my financial calculator. Yeah, that’s just how my brain works.

I’m a grump-monster when it comes to being woken up.

With that said, please know that I am fully aware that it’s a dick-move that I enjoy waking other people up when they are sleeping. I really enjoy scaring the hell out of my mom when she’s zonked out. I also enjoy drunk dialing my friends at 4am, knowing full well that they are fast asleep.

Once upon a time, Erica slept on the floor of the dorm room I shared with Sarah.

Erica had been sick and needed to rest. Erica’s roommate had been unsympathetic to her need to sleep in a dark, quiet place.  Her roommate was probably still bitter that we had completely trashed their dorm room one night she been gone and we had been drunk. We also apparently used her special blanket and eaten some of her crackers. Bitch held a grudge.

Nevertheless, Er took up residence on our floor and we stayed in and watched movies and went to bed early. It was lovely.

But sometime after all of us had fallen asleep, there suddenly was a lot of commotion.

I’m not sure what happened because I tried to sleep my way through it. I recall an obnoxious amount of light being turned on and I remember Sarah’s scared voice asking what to do when someone was in the need of contacting 911.

Erica was having trouble breathing. Asthma attack? Panic attack? Even now, I’m not too sure what happened.

I recall throwing LP over my face and trying to block out the light.

Even when Sarah asked me to call 911 while she tried to keep Erica from freaking the fuck out because she was like a thousand degrees and having trouble breathing, I whined and told her I didn’t know how to do it.

No one was particularly pleased with me nor were they grateful we were friends.

Next thing I know, ALL of the lights in our tiny square room were on and there were a couple (is that right??) of EMTs taking Erica’s blood pressure (or something?) and making sure she wasn’t going to die or anything.

As soon as it was over, I went back to sleep like it never happened.

I’m an asshole.

While we were in Philadelphia this weekend, I was reminded of something I love.

Something I simply cannot get enough of.

Something I wish I could constantly have in my life.

Something that just doesn’t get old.

Rob, a friend from college who now is all fancy and lives in New York City, met up with Erica and I in Philadelphia. He is the reason I am going through withdrawal. On two counts. Rude.

Robby & I after graduation! Go Green!

First of all, I hate him for making me love him and then leaving to go live a fancy life so far away.

Second, I hate him for reminding me of my love of Play by Givenchy and Justin Timberlake. It’s like THE BEST SMELL EVER. For men.

Robby wears Play. And I smelled him last weekend and fell in love all over again. (With him. And with Play.)

I remember clear as day the first time I smelled it. I shit you not. It’s, like, locked in my memory. I was flipping through Cosmo like MONTHS ago.

(Side note: I would just like to say that yes, I do subscribe to Cosmo. But it should also be noted that Drew usually got to it before I did. And sometimes Sully. Yes, Drew, you can be embarrassed that I announced it on my blog. Because the viewership has increased since I started it in June. And your secrets just keep spilling out of me. LAHV YEW!! That totally just reminded me of Mean Girls . You know, the part where all the girls are in the gym doing trust falls? And Karen apologizes to Gretchen for laughing at her for the time she got diarrhea at Barnes & Noble, and that she was sorry for repeating the story in front of everyone right then. Omg. That movie is genius. I love you, Tina Fey.)

Anyway.

Gosh, my ADD really needs to chill out.

Okay. I was “reading” Cosmo and all of a sudden it was like BAM!! HELLO BEST SMELL EVER!!! So you can bet your bottom dollar that I ripped open that tiny little flap of paper to sniff the tester page of this fragrance.  And when I looked to see what it was that I had pressed against my face, I saw Justin Timberlake. DOUBLE WIN!

LOOK AT HIM. HOT. AS. HELL.

This stuff is like catnip to me.

I smell it and just… want to breathe more than normal.

I cannot describe to you what it smells like, nor can I explain to you the degree to which I love this smell. It’s just amazing. And if I smelled it in real life, I would probably be embarrassed by my response to it.

It’s that good.

And every time Rob would walk by after he put it on, I just followed behind him sniffing the air he left.

Cannot. Get. Enough.

So, pretty much, I’m obsessed again.

Thanks a lot, Rob. Oh, and you too, Justin Timberlake. You just had to go ahead and render me completely out of my mind at the smell of the sexiest man-smell ever.

Oh, I doubt I need to make this disclaimer but, um, I haven’t been compensated in any way to plug this product. It just smells really, really good. And when I was cleaning up my closet and saw all of my perfumes, I thought of the one smell I wished I could smell at any given moment.

I need a boyfriend. So he can wear this. And I can behave like a cat that was recently given catnip. Or something??

Cats are funny.

lolz

 

While we were in Philadelphia this weekend, I was reminded of something I love.

Something I simply cannot get enough of.

Something I wish I could constantly have in my life.

Something that just doesn’t get old.

Rob, a friend from college who now is all fancy and lives in New York City, met up with Erica and I in Philadelphia. He is the reason I am going through withdrawal. On two counts. Rude.

1.) The only reason I enjoyed this Sunday is because I know I don’t have to be at work tomorrow because of Columbus Day. Love Love Love.

2.) You know how in Jersey Shore the boys sing “T shirt tiiiiiiiiiime!  T shirt tiiiiiiiime!” over and over before they go out and while they wear the “shirt before the shirt”?? Well, I love that they do that. It cracks me up. And last night before we went out, Megan and I sang “T shirt tiiiiiiiiime!” and it was awesome. We didn’t change our clothes for the song or anything but it was cool anyway.

3.) I was supremely hungover today.

4.) MSU beat U of M yesterday. I’m not a huge sports fan, as you know, but I really, really love the rivalry between the two schools, and it just feels really good to know that my school is better than that other school for another year.  I actually did watch the second half of the game, though, so I felt like I participated in the win.  I took a nap during the first half. It was a good one.

5.) I went to a hockey game with my friends from work on Friday. I know I have talked about this before, but I’m gonna say it again because it’s still definitely true. Yes, hockey is hot. It is. But I just can’t get past the violence. It’s so violent. And the refs just allow the fighting. I can’t understand that! If that was my honey out there, I wouldn’t be able to watch. How does Carrie Underwood do it?! And then at one of the breaks between periods (yeah, I know there are three periods in a hockey game), there was this hockey team made up of little kids. They were so precious. And I got worried and a little upset because someday if I have babies I just don’t think I could watch my little one play hockey. I would cry the whole time and be like DON’T HURT MY BABY!!! I’m such a pansy. The hockey game really made me want to watch the Mighty Ducks trilogy.

6.) My class ends this week. I am SO excited for this class to be over. This has been the most frustrating class of my MBA program and it’s deeply upsetting. I had a meltdown a couple weeks ago about it. I just can’t get an A in this class to save my life. It really, really bothers me!

7.) Speaking of my class ending, that means I have a week of no classes before the next session starts. During that week, I will be on vacation. Starting this Friday after work, I will have an entire week of vacation. I’m not going anywhere, so it’s a stay-cation but I’m still really excited. I have so much to do! I need to get a haircut, finalize my Halloween costume, and help Mom move to the new house! Busy, busy, busy!!

8.) I am watching How I Met Your Mother again. Season 3 this time. I just finished the episode where Barney and Robin sleep together. Ted got really mad but I totally dig the idea of Barney and Robin together. I have trouble reminding myself that tv shows aren’t real life and that those people don’t actually exist.

I should be required to wear some sort of sign that notifies people at movie theaters that I’m obnoxious.

Something neon and very noticeable: I’M A TALKER! I DON’T KNOW HOW TO WHISPER! I GIGGLE A LOT! I CLAP WHEN I’M HAPPY! I CAN’T SIT STILL!! I SCREAM WHEN I’M SCARED/SURPRISED! I COVER MY EARS AND SHOUT WHEN THERE’S A LOT OF VIOLENCE OR LOUD NOISES!

It should flash different phrases that apply to my behavior, just to get it all out in the open.

What is interesting is the fact that not once have I ever been told I’m being obnoxious at a movie theater. Never.

Even more interesting, I have experienced hypocrisy  at its finest. I ratted out a couple of 12-year-olds last year at The Hannah Montana Movie when Erica and I went to see it in theaters. Bahaha! I was so PO’d that they were being loud and talking the whole way through the movie that I actually got up out of my seat, went and found the customer service people and told them that two pre-teen girls were being obnoxious and ruining my Hannah Montana experience.

The girls got their parents called and I got two free tickets to any movie I wanted. Win.

I am also that person in the movie theater that constantly asks the questions, OMG WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!  WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN?!

Last night when Megan and I went and saw that New Tom Cruise Movie (I hate him), I kept asking. Megan now just responds, “I think we’ll find out later.”

Then I covered my ears and eyes and hit her leg a lot. THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS, I “whispered.”

Too bad, fellow movie-goers. You can’t make me sit with my feet on the ground- I will move if you sit right in front of me. (Or, if you’re the MSU football team sitting in front of me when I saw Pineapple Express in theaters, I will heckle you and still keep my feet on your chair because there was nowhere else to go.) You can’t make me stop fidgeting. I wiggle a lot. You can’t make me stop talking; I have a lot of thoughts. I have a lot of feelings. I just gotta share!  I cry too often and I laugh too loudly.  I like watching movies my way. It’s better than waiting until the end to get it all out.

Live in the moment! Carpe Diem! Seize the day!

We saw High School Musical 3 at midnight. I was reading Eclipse with my fleece blanket. Our gestures were totally appropriate and we were mature adults.

I sometimes think that maybe I shouldn’t allowed out in public or around children. Too bad for society. I’m still at large, ruining movies and corrupting the youth of America one inappropriate gesture and curse word at a time.