It is always been my strategy in school to procrastinate. My strategy in life is to avoid. They’re essentially the same.

Second semester of my senior year of college, I let procrastination (and probably my avoidance behavior) get to a new level. I remember hating myself then more than any other semester because of the procrastination. What I learned from it, however, is that there is nothing I can’t do if I set my mind to it.

Every week in my womens’ studies class we had a reflection paper due. This reflection paper required critical thinking and (obviously) reflection on whatever piece of reading we were to have completed over the course of the week. It was to prepare us for discussion. Every week, it meant I had a book to read and deep thoughts to think.

I tease my brother that he doesn’t know how to balance having a social life, school/homework and an actual job because his school is screwy and makes them work three months and then go back to school for three months, and then go back to work, so on and so forth. This means he never EVER balances all three. I balanced all three while I was in college.

You probably shouldn't bother me. I'm obviously very busy and important.

My point is that I tend to have excellent time management skills. I am a freak about how I spend my time, who gets to control the time I have, and what I do with said time. So, the fact I procrastinate has nothing to do with me having poor time management skills. It’s a choice. I choose to wait to the last minute to do everything.

It was my choice to wait to begin reading my women’s studies reading material until the night before it was due. For example, it was my choice to start reading Glass Castle (Sweet Jesus, I hated that book!) at 11:30 pm (after I got home from work, made some dino nuggets, changed into sweat pants, took my contacts out and set up my “reading nest” in the corner of my room). It was my choice to stay up until 4:30 am hating my life until I finished the most absurd book I’ve probably ever read. It was also my choice to then sit myself down at my desk and pen a reflection paper filled with critical thinking and deep, refelctive thoughts. Just like it was my choice to start writing my 15+ page final research paper twelve hours before it was due.

I think it’s clear I make really good choices.

And even now, when I should be writing a paper for my HR class, here I am, writing this little love letter about procrastination to all of you delightful readers of my blog.

I guess what I wanted to tell you was, there must be something wrong with me. Or maybe this tendency to procrastinate means something, maybe it tells you something about me. Maybe it means I live for the drama. I crave the excitement. I can’t function without the rush of adrenaline coursing through my veins. I need to hear that tiny voice in my head say, “Maybe you can’t do it! Maybe you suck, Katie! Maybe you won’t finish and you’ll fail the assignment and then have to drop out of school because you suck so much!” only so I can prove it wrong.

Either way, it’s how I work. And, really, the way I see it, it’s still pretty early that I can probably spit this paper out and be in bed by midnight watching Sleepless in Seattle.

Back to work I go.

What to write... what to write...?

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