Tag Archive: weather


So in case you live under a rock, there was a giant snowstorm that hit Michigan (and some other places too) this week.  As far as I know, it was pretty much one giant snowday.

While it seemed like every school and place of business had waved the white flag of defeat at the snow and Mother Nature, I just had a feeling that the Bank would say a big Eff You to all of it and open at our normal time.

There had been big talk about this Snopocolypse 2011. The National Weather Service had been issuing alerts and shiz since Monday- or maybe even before. I only heard the Blizzard of Oz was on its way because it seemed like every single one of my customers was asking me if I was ready for the snowstorm. I just pretended I knew what any of them were talking about. I had heard estimates of Snowmageddon, ranging from 12 to 16 inches. Holy shit that’s a lot of snow.

But I’m no idiot.

I am no longer that hopeful child, praying to the Snow Gods for a snowday. I’m not that middle schooler who purposely “forgot” to do her “homework” because she was holding out hope for the elusive snowday.  Ohhh, no. I am no longer an innocent.

I’m a realist, bitches.

With all this talk of Snotorious B.I.G., I was sure it wouldn’t come. I was sure we would see maybe six inches of snow. I was sure that all of those dickholes who were already celebrating the forthcoming snowday were celebrating prematurely. I guess the joke would have been on me since snowdays had already been called but still. Everyone else got to celebrate and I didn’t. I didn’t get to celebrate because I knew the Bank would not close. Not for anything. Not even for Snotorious B.I.G.

I mean, I wasn’t due into work at 12:15 pm so I figured that would give me plenty of time to hang out and wait for those six inches of snow I was predicting to be cleared.

I got a call at 7:30 am from my boss saying that the Bank would be opening at 11am rather than our regular 9 am. That was when I thought that maybe Snotorious B.I.G. had made an appearance.

After that first phone call, I slipped out of bed and poked my head around the blinds on my sliding glass door. Holy shit. We got a fuck-ton of snow.

Weather is voodoo magic and shouldn’t be fucked around with. Meteorologists are overpaid slackers. They don’t know shit.

I should have known when I was woken up by the sound of Thundersnow & Lightning. Awesome and totally outrageous. Talk about snOMG!

I shit you not, there is currently a three-foot drift right outside my bedroom.

At ten o’clock, my boss was on a call with our market team trying to assess the situation and to figure out if and/or when we should open our branch.

Long story short, the Bank didn’t open.

Hallelujah!! Snow. Day.

The only thing was that we were asked to provide updates on the roads and weather situation in our area.  My first update was that while we had managed to dig out our driveway (despite the fact that we have a plow service come every day to clear off our driveway), our roads hadn’t been plowed and there was a sheet of ice under all the snow. That was when I had a really good idea.

And by really good idea I mean terrible and completely dim-witted.

I actually managed to convince my mother to venture out into the frozen tundra.  You know, to be able to provide accurate updates on our road and weather conditions. Dude, I was doing my job.

Needless to say, we got stuck in the snow.

Tam’s cute little hybrid Saturn Vue couldn’t handle all the snow.  We even took the long way home after the first time we got stuck. And after we got stuck the second and third time. The last time, though, it was a situation too big for us to handle ourselves.

I called AAA to have them help us.  We were stuck in a biiiiiig way, and we needed some serious help. But, uhm, AAA can S my D because they would not help us. Apparently, because one of the roads were were stuck on (oh yeah, we were stuck in an intersection, lol) wasn’t plowed, they were going to have to refuse service.

Fuck that.

Her suggestion was that we notify the authorities that we were stuck and have them help us. Or just wait for our roads to be plowed.

Uhhhhm, fuck that.

So I not-so-nicely thanked the lady on the phone and then started my trek home.

The good news was that we were weren’t all that far from home.

By the time I got back to the car (after longest walk of my life) with a shovel to dig the car out, Tam was already being helped by two men who had two large vehicles. Oh, the joys of having really nice neighbors!

The man with the giant SUV had pulled Mom out of the snow she was stuck in and the man in the giant truck was driving through the snow to make tracks for us so we wouldn’t get stuck again.

Finally, we got home and we both kicked off our boots (or, actually, tam wore Target-brand slipper/clog/fuzzy weird shoe things while I had worn boots). Then we stripped off our pants, tossed ‘em into the dryer and crawled into our respective beds to get warm again.

All in a day’s work.

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Just moments ago, Tam came inside saying something about how Chief was munching on some frozen dog food.

Only, Drew and I were enthralled in season 6 of Grey’s Anatomy on dvd (which he got for Christmas) and Tam is making pot roast for dinner (ew) and the pressure cooker was making that obnoxious noise it makes from that little knob on the top of the lid. It was difficult to hear and I was only half listening.

Turns out Tam was saying that Chief was outside eating some frozen dog poop.

Yeah. You read that right.

Frozen dog poop.

My dog eats his own poop.

He is BEYOND precious

Can I just say….

What the fuck?

In fact, there are a few things that I say what the fuck to because of Chief.

He’s quite peculiar.

Like yesterday, Nikki came over with her family and brought her dog Sally. Chief and Sally became fast friends and played together allllll afternoon. But when they played, Chief kept trying to sit on Sally. They would bite each other ears and run around but then Chief would whip around and put his butt on her.

What is that about?

And Chief really enjoys being wet.

He found an open spot on the otherwise frozen lake and hopped right in. Just decided he’d take a dip. Then he got out, rolled in the snow and got back in the water. And then he cried at the door when it started raining the other day because Michigan weather is outrageous and it went from being freezing cold outside to 52 degrees and raining. He cried at the door because he wanted to go outside and sit in the rain.  He just sat there. Hangin’ out in the rain. And just yesterday, when I turned around to let him in from being outside, I was surprised to see him soaking wet. It wasn’t raining and the ground wasn’t even wet anymore. But then I realized that the cover to the grill had been on the floor of the deck and there had been a puddle and some ice on it. Chief had found it and rolled in it, effectively covering himself in water.

It seems we have figured out if he likes water or not.

Sure, you hear golden retriever and think that of course he’ll like water. But let me just tell you, Ruby, the golden retriever at my dad’s house, does not like water and does not enjoy swimming and being soaking wet like my Chiefy poo does.

I’m so happy we have a dog again.

It was never really a mystery to us why it seemed like our entire floor in the dorms in college hated us.

Sarah and I lived in the room at the very end of the hallway. Our perfect square of a room was the gathering place every Thursday night to watch The OC and later Grey’s Anatomy. Our room was the meeting place of the whole group of us for those three or four nights a week we went out to parties. And later, our sophomore year of college, our room was next door to two of our good friends, whose room would blare with the latest Justin Timberlake song or One Republic’s “Apologize” before it was cool and overplayed on the radio.

We did dumb shit, like dress up like the some cracked out version of the Spice Girls and sing really, really loudly after 2 in the morning. You know, when the whiners on our floor were sleeping, and had been since 11 pm.

As a group, we’re loud. I mean, I scream and screech a lot, I laugh loudly, and I shout when I’m happy or excited. Multiply that by at least four and you’ve got my core group of friends in college. And we were together constantly.

Add in the fact that we lived in an all-girls dorm. In the really, really old dorms. As in, I lived in the same dormitory my grandmother lived in. The same dormitory my mother lived in. It’s old. We also lived in the dorm mostly populated by the college of music kids. They’re all artsy and hipster-y and obviously too smart and better than us to get loud and crazy all the fucking time, like we did. The best part about our dorm is that it was the closet to the street with all the bars on it. And it was relatively close to a lot of the off-campus housing and greek life. (And let’s get real: I loved me some fraternity parties before I was of the legal drinking age.)

I think this photo adequately demonstrates the potential Le Le and I have when it comes to getting crazy. lolz (Ps. Le, does that headband look familiar? bahaha)

My point is, our floor hated us.

We were constantly hushed and asked nicely to be quiet. And when all else failed, we were told on. When we realized that the RA’s were about to come bust us, we’d quickly finish the shot glass full of five o’clock vodka on Leah’s or my desk, turn the music off, grab our coats and fly out the door.

I mean, we didn’t want to get written up. Again. Or have to pour our alcohol down the bathroom sink. Again.

Even when we weren’t drinking (illegally) in the dorms, we were loud. And probably really, really obnoxious. I’ll leave you with this one memory I have, a memory that really reinforced the fact that everyone on our floor just did not get me, or my friends.

You know how in college dorms there are all kinds of random-ass signs for random-ass shit? Like, sign up for ballroom dancing in one of the rooms by the cafeteria, or do you need a tutor for some really hard singing class you’re taking? Well, I can’t remember why we decided to make a sign but one night we did, and we hung it on the walls all over our hallway, and all of the doors to the bathrooms, and the mirrors, and the door to the stairs.

It was a nice sign. It didn’t ask anyone to donate their first born to some demonic cult or require anyone to spend any money on anything. It was just a nice little sign to remind people to have a good day and to provide a little pick-me-up. Sometimes people just need that. Classes are hard. It’s really hard to walk fifty feet to a building across a nice little field to go sing for a couple hours a day. And it gets cold in Michigan.  And sometimes blowing off class on a Friday to play Ultimate Frisbee in Adam’s Field is just really… hard. So we posted our sign to let people know we cared.

Our sign was not appreciated. When we woke up the next morning, every single sign had been torn down and thrown away.

The people on our floor were dicks. And they hated us.

I went to bed last night with the intent of sleeping in.

With today being my day off, I figured I’d have a niiiiice leisurely morning. I’d wake up, put some pants on, and sneak up on the cat on my way to the kitchen to get some pumpkin cake for breakfast because it’s October and pumpkin cake is a staple in our house in the fall. It’s truly glorious.  I would snuggle back in my bed and watch an episode of The West Wing. I figured I’d shower and then spend an obscene amount of time flat-ironing my hair, simply because I had the time. Then I thought I’d sort my laundry and do a load or two. Thought maybe I’d finish putting all the random shit sitting on my dresser away and color-code the next three weeks in my planner. Maybe I’d finally put the movies away by the TV in the upstairs living room. Maybe I’d finally get around to backing up all of my recently added music on my iTunes. I figured I’d even paint my nails, since it’s been over a week since I’ve done that.  I thought I’d meet up with Nikki for lunch and then we’d spend the afternoon scrapbooking.

The life I lead is a little rough. I know.

My phone rang at a quarter after eight this morning. It scared the hell out of me. I was confused. And worried something bad had happened. It was work. I hoped I wouldn’t be asked to come in. Luckily, that didn’t happen. But once I was off the phone, I was totally awake. I hopped out of bed with the intention of starting my laundry but then I remembered I didn’t know how our brand new washing machine worked because it’s pretty much from the future.  So instead I brushed my teeth then crawled back into bed.   So much for being productive.

Nikki bbm’d me just after I got out of the shower and alerted me to the “weather situation” occurring in the area.  We solidified our plans for lunch and scrapbooking and I started blow-drying my hair. But then she called me back because she was driving to let me know that there was indeed a tornado warning in effect.

Uhhhhm. This entire back side of this new house is made of windows, practically. Sure, I was already in the basement but… there is really no place to hide away from windows. Let’s get real. If a tornado was to come attack me, I would make like Dorothy and end up in Oz. I turned the news on and watched a whole lot of meteorology-related graphics on the screen with little thought to what it really meant. I laughed it off because while they were spouting off all this info about how important it is to TAKE COVER and STAY INSIDE AWAY FROM WINDOWS, all that was outside my windows and doors was light rain and a little wind.

But then it got really dark. And all of a sudden it started downpouring. I couldn’t even see the lake. It was scary!! But then it passed. And I went on with my day.

Here’s the thing though. It remained really windy all day and it made me wonder something.

Where does wind come from?

I think that this question may make you wonder if my brain is actually fully functioning but I am  for realzzzzz.

Oh, also, I don’t know if this is related but for some reason it is related in my brain. I saw that creeps Ashton Kutcher movie The Butterfly Effect and I don’t really remember what that movie is about. I feel like it mentioned something about a butterfly flapping its wings and then it changes something on the other side of the Earth or some shit.  That is outrageous and totally creeps me out. Is that for real?! Is that where wind comes from? Does wind exist without trees? What about in the Sahara or whatever. That place gets wind, right?! WHERE DOES WIND COME FROM?!

Gosh, sometimes I wonder weird things.

I’m sure you’re really glad you wasted the five minutes it took to read this. It’s good to know my internal monologue is such an unproductive use of time.  Kind of like facebook.