Tag Archive: secrets


Look, it’s not in my nature to be mysterious, but I can’t talk about it, and I can’t talk about why.

– Ocean’s Twelve

I could lie to you and tell you I have a really great, exciting secret that I can’t share with you for a couple days so this quote would seem relevant. I even thought about doing that. But then I decided that was a dick move and that I just don’t have the kind of time and energy right now to devote to a trick like that.

Here’s the truth:

I’m sad to report I have nothing of importance to tell you. I have nothing funny or outrageous to share with you.

In fact, I almost blew off posting today because I feel like crap and I have been so ineffectual when I attempt to do my homework that it’s as if I haven’t even started.

I spoke with my mom on the phone tonight and right away she asked me if I was gonna make it.

I sound like an emphysema patient.

To which she responded something about sticking me in a wheelchair and hooking me up to an oxygen tank.

So imagine what you will about me. Either I’m being productive and doing my homework, or I’m dying of this sexy cold I’ve contracted. (Or I’m going to watch Glee and paint my nails, then do my homework, then die. In that order.)

look, it’s not in my nature to be mysterious, but i can’t talk about it, and i can’t talk about why.

*ocean’s twelve

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I was summoned for jury duty.

I had started a “words to go” document on my blackberry this morning, while I was waiting in the jury assembly room. It had my observations, thoughts, and feelings about my experience. I was going to share it with you. It was going to make for an excellent blog post for today.

But I got selected to sit on a jury in a trial. So I can’t talk about it. And just to be safe, I don’t want to share any of those thoughts yet.

If only I could tell you...!

I was very, very excited about being called in for jury duty and am still as psyched as can be to actually have been selected. I just feel so strongly about this civic duty and how important a fair trial is. I believe in the courts system.

I will be absolutely suuuuuure to tell you guys all about it after it’s done, but for now, I have to “zip my lip like a padlock” (to borrow from Ke$ha) and not talk about any of it. (You can, however, “meet me in the back with the jack and the jukebox.”)

I truly do apologize for this post to be so boring, but just know that I really did want to talk to you about this huge event for me. I was seriously so excited I could pee.

But now I must make sure I’m ready for my last day of accounting class. YAY!!!

Have you ever been summoned for jury duty? What was your experience like? Were you excited?! Were you selected?! TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT!!!

I have a secret.

Also, if you should know anything about me, it’s that I cannot keep a secret to save my life. It doesn’t matter if the secret belongs to someone else (even though I really, really try to keep it) or if it’s my own secret. I just can’t do it.

Close friends have realized this and found coping mechanisms to deal with it. Generally speaking, I think it’s safe to say that I’m among the last people to know things because of my inability to shut my trap. I really shouldn’t wonder or get my feelings hurt because I’m the last to know but sometimes I forget that it’s my own doing that makes all of that necessary.

I know we’re already half way through the year, but maybe I’ll have a resolution now? Must. Keep. Secrets.

Bahaha who am I kidding? That’ll never happen.

Anyway, that brings me to my secret.

Are you ready? Really, really ready?

I hate the car wash.

It is not one car wash place in particular; I hate them all. They freak me out.

You know how it’s rude to bring animals through the car wash because they don’t understand it and it scares them, and it’s cruel to put them through that kind of stress? It’s the same thing with me.

So, today, Drew, Mom and I went out to lunch. And, like normal, Mom decided she’d run some impromptu errands while she had us child-locked in the vehicle. Drew complained, like normal, and I panicked, like normal, when she told us she was just going to get the car washed.

Mom and Drew just don’t understand that my anxiety is for realz. I get all jittery and beady-eyed. It’s like I turn into some wimpy, insane version of the Hulk or something. The second the employee takes the money and gives the instruction to put the car in neutral, I start freaking out. I lose all ability of rational thought and react solely on instinct. My instinct is to hate hate hate the car wash.  My heart races and I feel like I’m gonna dry heave and/or die. My eyes dart around the vehicle, following the evilness that are those giant things that wipe down the outside of the car. The power of the water makes a scary noise. How the car moves confuses me and makes me think dark magic is real.  The fans at the end blow fire. How is that safe?!?!

By nature, I’m kind of a loud human being. I screech and scream just to convey my anxiety and hatred of the car wash. Even when I’m by myself, I still freak the eff out. I do, however, try not to go alone because I hate it that much.

Drew usually just mocks me and is deeply entertained by how freaked out I get.

Not cool.

Do you have any weird secrets? Are you freaked out by things you probably have no business being freaked out by? Share!!