Tag Archive: pants


Chief is molting.

His winter coat, apparently, has decided it is time to get the fuck out of town.

All weekend long, every time I touch him, his hair explodes off his body.  I’ve been pulling tufts of hair off of him, complete chunks of fur. It’s disgusting.

I spent the last twenty minutes of the Oscar Pre-Show brushing his hair to no avail.  It was never-ending.  Finally, after I was covered in as much fur as he was I decided it was time to put the brush away, wash my hands and take my clothes off.

So now Chiefy and I are watching the Oscars and avoiding how much he’s shedding.  He’s sitting happily out in the snow with his stuffed snowman head while I chill out on the couch with no pants on.

I’m having a grand time. And I don’t even like award shows. (It must be the no pants part that is making this night so excellent.)

ABC really knew what they were doing when they decided to have James Franco (omg boner) and Anne Hathaway host this year. Trying to grab that younger, hipper audience… well played.  They grabbed me as a viewer- which must mean I am both young and hip.

I’ll take it.

The only part I like about award shows is seeing what everyone is wearing, not that I even care who really designed the dresses each actress wears. I find the acceptance speeches excruciatingly awkward and embarrassing.  I hate all of that. I also have not seen any of the films that have been nominated this year. Not even Toy Story 3.

I’m not even pretending that it was me Justin Timberlake (omg boner) just presented an Oscar to.  There was no “I’d like to thank the academy…” coming out of my lips.  The second an actor gets up on stage to pretend they are not completely narcissistic and have to feign graciousness and genuine surprise, I leave the room to hang an article of clothing that has been resting on the biggest shelf in my room (aka the floor) for the past week.

Did you watch the Oscars? What’s your favorite (or least favorite!) part?!

1.) All this time, I was convinced that red velvet cake was from the devil. For as long as I can remember, I have vehemently hated red velvet cake. With little to back up my hatred, I stuck to my guns and refused to say anything nice about red velvet cake. Now, it’s like I don’t even know who I am these days. We have some “cake balls” left from the party still, and they’re still delish. The chocolate ones? Divine. Banana? Yum. Pumpkin? Yes please! Red velvet? Fuck no. But then… I really wanted something chocolate and Grandma had eaten the last plain chocolate one, and I was desperate. So I decided I’d give the red velvet one a shot. I took a tiny bite, expecting to dry heave and chuck the cake ball at the floor. But then…. neither of those urges came to me. In fact, I didn’t just tolerate the red velvet to curb my chocolate craving. Oh, no, I went on to eat another one. And then I ate two more for breakfast today. What’s happening to me?

2.) I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part I twice this weekend. I’m not complaining. Shiz, I love love love Harry Potter. I’d watch it every day if I could. I just watched all of the Harry Potter movies and I’m re-reading the 7th book right now. Due to poor planning, when I went to see the 7th movie I hadn’t re-read the 7th book. The book is too sad. I’ve only read it once. And when I saw the movie, I remembered why I had only read it once. I’m such a pansy. I cry at just about everything. The book and movie break my heart.

3.) I dread waking up in the morning. It’s not because I’m not a morning person or because I suck at reacting to my alarm. Actually, when my alarm goes off, I never ever hit the snooze button. I don’t believe in snooze buttons. But that is neither here nor there. When my alarm goes off, I am ready to get up. I hear it and I’m like OKAY MORNING LET’S DO THIS!! Ohhh, no. I dread waking up in the morning because it’s cold and I hate wearing pants. When my alarm goes off, it requires that I get out of my warm, cozy bed and stumble blindly to the bathroom to shower.  No pants. That’s just how I roll. It’s all fun and games until I have to get out of bed and brave the cold.

4.) When I watch the American President, I miss my brother like crazy. I simply cannot wait until he comes home.

5.) I had a whole list of things I wanted to get done this weekend. Do you think any of those things got accomplished? No. Except, actually, I did do one thing. I cleaned out my email inbox.  Luckily, I can cross that off the list I made in my planner. Win.

6.) Here is a snapshot of some of the things I’ve googled today: “doe patronus” “taylor swift lyrics” “kelly clarkson lyrics” “dear john letters” “renee estevez” “rob lowe” “list of idioms”

7.) And last night I google map’d the directions from japan to china because I stumbled upon an image that told me to do just that. So I did. And the image I had stumbled upon said that I would “lol” at #43. I did.

So, I think I mentioned this before but my mom is building a house. Well, obviously she is not the one doing the hard labor and constructing a dwelling deemed livable. There’s just no way that could actually happen. But you know what I mean.

Because of this new house, my mom is basically a basketcase and walks around life like a ninny. (I really wanted to use that word!) She has been trying to get her house “ready to put on the market” which means making repairs and throwing all of our random shit away.

None of this would really be worthy of telling you about except it is now encroaching on my life. I have been told that I must pack up all of my childhood books and the rest of the crap in my bedroom that I haven’t taken with me anywhere. Okay, fine. I can do that. But the repairs?  At least give a girl some warning!

After a night out terrorizing East Lansing with a couple of my best gals, I awoke this morning at 6:50 am (ish) to hear my mother fluttering around the kitchen and down the hall as her heels clicked against the hardwood floor. I immediately rolled back over and continued right on sleeping. Much too early to be awake. THEN, a text woke me up (thanks a lot, Nikki- lol just kidding! love you!) around 9:30 am or something. I deemed this a suitable time to rise. So after texting back and forth a for a while, apologizing to a couple people I happened to inappropriately drunk-text, and deciding I needed to watch an episode of Dawson’s Creek, I heard someone walkin’ around downstairs. I assumed it was my mom. (I have this joke with her lately that she just never goes to work anymore- but it’s totally a joke. She does go to work. And she loves her job. FYI. hahaha)

So, because I assumed it was my mom, I got out of bed, opened my door and took a first few tentative steps out into the loft before saying something snarky to Tam (my mom) about how she’s a slacker and never goes to work.

Oh. It totally wasn’t my mom. Whoever it was totally heard me get up and was like, “HELLO!?!”

Uhm. That’s a man-voice. WTF?!

Uhm. Hello?

WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE SAID?! (Maybe I should have gone with something like “WHO DERE?!” bahahaha at least I crack myself up…)

“I’m John,” said the odd man in my home.

Suddenly, I was thankful I put pants on. I almost didn’t!

Uuuuuum, I’m Katie?

“I’m just putting up some drywall here for your mother?”

This is when I just retreated towards my room. I would hide until he was gone. My hair was huge and completely weird shaped. The X drawn on my hand in permanent marker from the bar last night was probably now transferred to my cheek. I didn’t need to know what this man looked like or what he was doing. Just. Go. Away. But he sounded busy, so I figured I’d wait it out.

Oh. Okay.

I hightailed it back to my room, closed the door, took my pants back off, and crawled back into bed. I texted my mom “it’s not awkward at all with this random man in my house or anything…” but she didn’t care enough about me to text me back.

It seemed like I was waiting forever. After an episode of Dawson’s Creek that I pretty much slept through, I decided I couldn’t live like a prisoner in my own home anymore. So I grabbed my clothes and tip-toed to the bathroom. After showering and getting dressed, I got the f outta there and ran my very-important errands. Yeah, right. I basically invented a reason to gtfo of my house for at least an hour.

HE WAS STILL THERE WHEN I GOT BACK. AND HE LOOKS LIKE SANTA CLAUS.

AND HE CONVERSED WITH ME AS IF OUR AWKWARD INTRODUCTION NEVER TOOK PLACE.

meredith grey knows what's up

So, I went right along with it. I pretended this morning never happened, just like the annoying thing that happened last night. And the awkward thing that happened yesterday after work.  If Santa can handle avoidance behavior, then I’m just gonna continue living my life “under a banner of avoidance.” Really, this just instills in me the idea that being “dark and twisty” and an avoider is okay. This all just really reinforces my belief that if I’m any one character from Grey’s Anatomy, it is indeed Meredith. And if you watch that show, she’s not exactly… stable. But whatever, she gets help and becomes bright and shiny. Maybe someday I’ll be bright and shiny Meredith too. Change does happen, you know. I used to be very Cristina, but as I just told you, I’m not so much anymore.

This got very off-topic. Where was I?

Oh yes. Santa. (Sidenote:  As I was writing Santa, I almost wrote Satan. Interesting.)

Santa Claus just continued on merrily, putting up drywall or something. And then he finally left, but not before asking me if it was okay to leave his ladder here since he would be returning at 9 am tomorrow morning.

I can’t wait. Maybe I’ll ask him for a pony tomorrow. Or maybe not since horses freak me out.

Oh, I know. I’ll ask him for a boyfriend an *NSYNC reunion tour! Ooh, or for Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears to bury the hatchet and get their love-fest back on. Or for Mel Gibson to not be so terrible and make him go away. (I could do this forever.)