Tag Archive: chocolate


I was going to try my hand at a domestic skill today.

Actually, I did try my hand at a domestic skill today. It wasn’t just an intention; I actually did it.

I planned on taking pictures of this foray into “cooking” and provide a little how-to for all of you to be able to try out the easiest little snack ever.

And when I say planned, I actually mean that I did take pictures.  But then… well, then I stopped taking pictures.

Please note that I did just say that this was the “easiest little snack ever.”

Well, let’s just get into this. And you’ll see what happened.

Here’s what you need:

Easiest. Snack. Ever.

Chocolate kisses, pretzels and M&Ms. That’s seriously it.

So, here’s a very important step. You must unwrap the chocolate kisses.

Next, you must place the pretzels onto a cookie sheet. Any size cookie sheet will do. And you don’t have to be as anal as I was about the placement of the pretzels but they should not overlap.

Once you’ve placed your pretzels on your cookie sheet, top each pretzel with a Kiss.

Okay, here’s where I stopped taking pictures.

I thought I was doing everything right. I had the oven set to 300 degrees Fahrenheit and I let the pretzel/kiss combo hang out for a couple minutes.

What is supposed to happen is that the Kiss will soften just enough that it is easy to push an M&M onto the top of it and it’ll smush down just the tiniest bit. Then you let them hang out to cool down and harden into one pretzel/kiss/M&M creation. Then you eat and enjoy.

But, uhm, that didn’t happen for me.

When I went to push an M&M onto one of the kisses, it didn’t work. There was no smush. The kiss was still hard. I thought I hadn’t waited long enough. Maybe a minute isn’t long enough.  So I put it back in the oven. And when I tried again, it still wasn’t soft enough. So then I turned the temperature of the oven up.  Like, way up. (I don’t know why I thought that was the best idea! Domestic skills clearly are not an instinct I possess!!) A minute later, I went to check on them and push an M&M into a kiss and ohhhhh no.

The chocolate had totally burned. And everything looked… not right.

I think it was just moments short of catching fire, to be honest.

So I looked at it and felt disappointed in myself. Then I threw it away and gave up.

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1.) All this time, I was convinced that red velvet cake was from the devil. For as long as I can remember, I have vehemently hated red velvet cake. With little to back up my hatred, I stuck to my guns and refused to say anything nice about red velvet cake. Now, it’s like I don’t even know who I am these days. We have some “cake balls” left from the party still, and they’re still delish. The chocolate ones? Divine. Banana? Yum. Pumpkin? Yes please! Red velvet? Fuck no. But then… I really wanted something chocolate and Grandma had eaten the last plain chocolate one, and I was desperate. So I decided I’d give the red velvet one a shot. I took a tiny bite, expecting to dry heave and chuck the cake ball at the floor. But then…. neither of those urges came to me. In fact, I didn’t just tolerate the red velvet to curb my chocolate craving. Oh, no, I went on to eat another one. And then I ate two more for breakfast today. What’s happening to me?

2.) I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part I twice this weekend. I’m not complaining. Shiz, I love love love Harry Potter. I’d watch it every day if I could. I just watched all of the Harry Potter movies and I’m re-reading the 7th book right now. Due to poor planning, when I went to see the 7th movie I hadn’t re-read the 7th book. The book is too sad. I’ve only read it once. And when I saw the movie, I remembered why I had only read it once. I’m such a pansy. I cry at just about everything. The book and movie break my heart.

3.) I dread waking up in the morning. It’s not because I’m not a morning person or because I suck at reacting to my alarm. Actually, when my alarm goes off, I never ever hit the snooze button. I don’t believe in snooze buttons. But that is neither here nor there. When my alarm goes off, I am ready to get up. I hear it and I’m like OKAY MORNING LET’S DO THIS!! Ohhh, no. I dread waking up in the morning because it’s cold and I hate wearing pants. When my alarm goes off, it requires that I get out of my warm, cozy bed and stumble blindly to the bathroom to shower.  No pants. That’s just how I roll. It’s all fun and games until I have to get out of bed and brave the cold.

4.) When I watch the American President, I miss my brother like crazy. I simply cannot wait until he comes home.

5.) I had a whole list of things I wanted to get done this weekend. Do you think any of those things got accomplished? No. Except, actually, I did do one thing. I cleaned out my email inbox.  Luckily, I can cross that off the list I made in my planner. Win.

6.) Here is a snapshot of some of the things I’ve googled today: “doe patronus” “taylor swift lyrics” “kelly clarkson lyrics” “dear john letters” “renee estevez” “rob lowe” “list of idioms”

7.) And last night I google map’d the directions from japan to china because I stumbled upon an image that told me to do just that. So I did. And the image I had stumbled upon said that I would “lol” at #43. I did.

Yesterday was Grandma’s 78th birthday.

She requested for my mom to make fajitas for dinner and chocolate cake. That’s exactly what she got. (Yum, btw.) And then we did presents and talked about how different life is now than it was when she was young. I love when that happens because her childhood is just so outrageous to me. She talks about how she used to iron her brothers shirts all the time and that amazes me because I’ve never ironed anything in my life, besides my hair. Jeeez! Although, I have used my flat iron to “iron” a few articles of clothing. Something tells me, though, that that is totally not the same thing.

Grandma enjoys getting pedicures and is seriously obsessed with sports. She cares about, like, every sport there is. Something is always on. Hockey, football, tennis, golf, baseball… it never ends. She tries to make conversation with me about it but it’s completely useless since I just don’t know sports or care to pay much attention to it.

For her birthday, my mom thought of something awesome to give her. She purchased tickets to the Detroit Tigers game that was at 1:05 this afternoon. Grandma has talked about how she hasn’t been to Comerica Park and how she so wants to go to a Tigers game for foreverrrrrr. So we just fucking did it. We got tickets, hopped in the car this morning and drove to Detroit to watch the Tigers play the Minnesota Twins. She was so excited and it was adorable. She was so surprised and it just made it really precious to give those tickets to her for her birthday.

As previously stated, I do not watch sports. Most importantly, baseball is just so not sexy. It’s like the least sexy of all sports. With football, you’ve got these buff guys who run around in spandex and throw people to the ground. That’s kinda hot. And with soccer, you’ve got these really lean, really fit, hot guys who wear pretty normal outfits and aren’t all ‘roided up. Swimmers… this is all I’m gonna say: baaaangin’ bodies. Hockey is hot because even though it’s violent there’s something about the thrill of the fighting; you know those guys aren’t pansies. Golf  isn’t exactly sexy but I guess it’s not not sexy. (Tiger Woods is a total douche but I basically pretend he doesn’t exist, so whatevs.)  I mostly just think of people my dad’s age when I think of golf, and that’s awkward. Never mind. Let’s move on. My point is that baseball is not sexy and I just don’t get it. No thanks.

But, despite my feelings towards baseball, to the game we went. There was way more traffic than anticipated and Grandma told me I looked like “Sarah Palin’s daughter with those new sunglasses”- whatever that means. (I didn’t take that as a compliment. Bristol Palin (and basically the whole Palin clan) is a hot damn mess. Not in the cute, fun way that I am.)  When we got there, it was sunny and nice and it felt so good because the air was BLASTING in the car. But we got to our seats and I wanted to die. It was scorching. I now have a really sexy tan. And by that I mean I have not-so-cute tanlines. And by tan, I mean I’m bright red. Despite putting sun-screen on, I definitely burned. Whatever, though, right? Sunburns are sexy. bahaha

Long story short, I’d go to another game. It’s just fun to be there, be a part of it and feel the excitement of everyone around you. I enjoyed eating a hotdog in the stands and I totally wished I had Tigers apparel because that’s the best part- dressing for the occasion! lol I’m such a girl.

UPDATE (seriously-wtf-day-is-it?!, July 13):

here’s a picture to show you how good my sunburn looks:

soooooo sexy!!! i know you're jealous.