Tag Archive: accounting


Two weeks ago, I asked someone to show me how to use my financial calculator.

I bought (and when I say “I,” I mean my mom bought me) said financial calculator four years ago. For my accounting class. Which I bombed.

Maybe if I would have known how to use my calculator I wouldn’t have sucked so hard at Accounting 201 at Michigan State. Or, maybe if I went to class when I wasn’t hungover and counting down the minutes until I got to leave I would have done marginally well. Or, maybe if I wouldn’t have taken those two pulls (I have a very low tolerance for alcohol, read: I’m what one would call a “lightweight”) from a bottle of Bacardi before the final I would have passed. There were probably many factors contributing to my lack of success.

Anyway, I finally know how to use a few of the functions on this financial calculator. Good news, considering I’m taking a finance class right now.

This boy (man?) who taught me how to use my calculator was someone who has been in at least two of my other classes but to whom I have never spoken. Tonight, we conversed even more. And not about how to use my calculator.

We talked about Jersey Shore.

It just brings people together.

I kind of love that about that show. It’s appalling and terrible for society. Every time I watch it, I always just wonder, is this real life?! And it never ceases to amaze me that those people are real. Despite knowing it adds no real value to society and probably makes me dumber when I watch it, I can’t stop. I am in it. It’s like I know better but keep making poor life choices. I’m like those idiot drug addicts on Intervention who keep doing dumb shit that is bad for them. The show cracks my shit up. I laugh out loud every single time I see an episode.

It sucked me in and won’t let me go!

Another thing that sucked me in? Pretty Little Liars on ABC Family.

What the fuck is that show? Seriously.

I read the first four books and then bailed because I decided I’m not a slutty 14-year-old, and the show had already started and I figured that was good enough. But then I stopped watching the show because I was always doing something else when it was on and it was just too much work to have to keep up online.

Here’s the thing though, I watched the season premiere this January and decided I would commit myself to it. Idiot. Because now I’m still doing something else when it comes on and that means I have to catch up online, which is exactly what happened last time! So today, I thought to myself, Self, it’s okay to not catch up on Pretty Little Liars. It’s okay to bail again. Just give it up. Let it go. It’s okay.

I felt good about this decision.

Until right now, when I saw a preview for next week’s Pretty Little Liars. It made me wanna watch it real bad. So I guess that’s that. I’m gonna make that effort to watch it.

Gosh, my life is so rough.

Ps. Betcha didn’t see Pretty Little Liars coming from the talk about my financial calculator. Yeah, that’s just how my brain works.

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OMG hi. How ARE you?! It’s been, what….? TWO DAYS?! I’ve missed you SO much.

Mmmkay, now that that’s over, uhm, here’s just a few random things swirlin’ around in my noggin.

1.) The library wants me soooo bad. I’ve been getting emails from the library like cray cray, so I just know how bad it wants me. It’s always like, Hey you should stop by today after work…. or it’s like, hey girl, maybe you could swing by today, just for a minute. And I’m always like, Damn, I have stuff to do. But,like, yeah, I guess I could…, I’ll stop by later.

I finally stopped by after I got my oil changed today (omg ew) and I had a shit-ton of shit waiting for me.  First, I had to drop off Dexter, Season 3 because it was, like, totally almost overdue. And the library is a dickhead about late fees. So, Whatever. I gave in there. But in return, I got season 6 of Dawson’s Creek, season 2 of Burn Notice and three John Legend CDs. I probably know only like two John Legend songs but whatever. I’m diversifying my itunes. The library doesn’t judge.  Me and the Library? Our relationship is pretty much give and take. But mostly take, because it’s great like that.  And there’s really not much drama until I keep stuff for too long, but like I said, it’s a dickhead about late fees. I’m teaching it a lesson right now and holding my account balance at a solid $8.00. ‘Cause I’m a free bitch, baby.

2.) I had to make a cut to the list of people I follow on Twitter today. I juuuust did it. Like five minutes ago. I couldn’t take it anymore. And that sucks because I do kinda feel bad when I do that.

A few months ago, I had to un-follow Anderson Cooper. And that really cut me deep because he’s all kiiiiiiiiinds of sexy. But I just really didn’t need all of those informative, news-related tweets infiltrating my homepage filled with the brilliant thoughts of those like Kim Kardashian, Stephanie Pratt, Justin Bieber, and Chunk Handler (yes, Chelsea Handler’s dog). So, sexy-as-fuck AC got the axe.

Five minutes ago, Pauly D (yes, from Jersey Shore– and YES, I’m embarrassed to even admit this) was on the chopping block. I’m pretty sure Mike “The Situation” Whatever-his-name-is is next. Because Seriously, the retweet the shit out of people who even mention them. And that’s annoying as fuuuuuuck. Also, I really don’t want them to take over the world. So I guess I didn’t feel that bad about getting rid of him.

3.) Bad news, guys. I gotta go because I have to go work on my accounting project. So, I guess this is it until next time.

Kayloveyoubye!!!

So, for the past two days, I’ve been composing a list of reasons my life is hard. Most of these things are reasons that I came up with while watching The Hills on MTV (don’t judge me- it’s a good show! bahaha).

The list is as follows:

Reasons my life is hard

1.) There are no cute boys in my new accounting class.

Hello?! I already knew the class was going to suuuuuuuuck- it’s accounting, that’s a given. But, like, it’s cruel and unusual punishment to not even put one cute boy in there to take away some of boring-ness. Ugh. My life is hard.

2.) I’m currently taking managerial accounting.

Perhaps this should have been listed first, but clearly you see my priorities. Excuse me, I understand I’m working on getting my MBA, but, really, is accounting really necessary? I mean… come on. Money’s not, like, that important… okay, fine. You win, MBA program, you win. My life is so hard.

3.) My borrowed contacts are starting to hate me.

The left one was all kinds of blurry Wednesday morning while I was driving to work. I almost took it out and put it back in but then I remembered I was driving. And if texting and driving is no longer permissible, I’m assuming law enforcement and fellow drivers (we all know how great of a driver I am) would be upset if I was now voluntarily fucking with my vision. I decided against it but then I remembered the time I took my contacts out while driving on I-96 one morning and searched for my glasses after my contacts were already out. My cruise control was set. I lived. It’s totally fine.

4.) The lamp on my desk broke.

Like totally broke. It’s not just that light bulb burned out. I flicked the little switch and there was a pop sound and then the light bulb just, like, fell out. The top part, the part with the screw-y part, was missing. WTF does that mean?! So I looked up there and was like HOW DO I FIX THIS?! You can’t come back from that. You just can’t. I wasn’t about to stick my fingers up in there! So I unplugged it and threw the piece of crap away. Time to invest in a new “task lamp.” My life is hard.

5.) Brody Jenner keeps referring to Kristin Cavallari as his sister.

TO HER FACE. WTF?!?! I know that The Hills isn’t actually “real” but it’s real to me! You do not have “sexual relations” with your sister! That is just…. not right. And that’s just rude to say to some girl you used to date and to whom you still have some sort of attraction! Especially when you know she wants to be with you! Dick move, sir! Also, I just really want Kristin and Brody to get back together for real. I hate fake reality. And I hate Avril Lavigne. I have so many feelings. My life is so hard.

6.) When my hair is in a ponytail, it tickles the back of my neck and gives me the willies/the chills.

I need a haircut? *whine*

7.) The City is still on the air.

I don’t watch that show but it comes on right after The Hills and I am forced to see commercials for it. That Olivia girl is the biggest C yoU Nest Tuesday ever. I hate that she exists. I wish she’d go back into obscurity and stop being so terrible. *rage blackout*

8.) I woke up twenty minutes late Wednesday morning.

It totally messed up my routine and completely threw me into a panic. I hate being late and I just can’t handle when things deviate from a plan. It freaks me out. It’s hard being me.

9.) The normal road I take to GTFO this tiny part of town I live in is totally blocked off due to construction of a “beautiful new park.”

I don’t appreciate this. Okay, fine, yes, there is another road like two feet away from it that takes me exactly to the same street the one under construction takes me to, but still. I hate it. The one I’m forced to take needs to be repaved. And I drive by it every day and have to make an illegal U-turn when I remember that my road is closed. Ugh. My life is so hard.

Okay. Enough complaining for today. Thanks for listening. You’re just such a good friend.

What are some ridiculous reasons your life is hard?? Do you feel the same way about Kristin and Brody as I do? Why does Summer = Construction?!?!

5

I’m feeling uninspired today.

Do you know how hard it is to come up with something “interesting” to talk about? It’s hard. Really hard.

I’m back at Grandma’s after a week of being home-home. My life is no longer completely out of control and disorganized. I spent a good two hours last night unpacking all of my crap. I put my clothes away, hung shit up in my closet, rearranged the pile of crap on my printer, and color-coordinated slash synchronized my planners (yes, as in plural) and calendars (yes, as in plural).

I suppose that deserves just a tiny explanation.

I have two planners and two wall calendars. The only reason that I have two planners right now is because there’s overlap in the month of July. My planner ends in July (sad face) and the new one starts in July.  The only way I can make sure that I can plan far enough ahead and be aware of what is going on is if I have both of them with me. So there.

I also have two wall calendars so I can have various visual aids to guide me through the week. One calendar is of orchids. They’re lovely flowers. It has the whole month on it, holidays, class schedule, work schedule, moon schedules, you know how it goes. The other one is a dry-erase board that only fits one week at a time. This is where I can write in my work schedule, class schedule, tv shows I want to watch, various activities. Whatevs.

It’s obscene, I know. It’s too much.  But seriously, I love it. (I don’t curr, it’s sexy to let your freak-flag fly!) I LOVE spending all that time color coordinating crap so it looks pretty. I like highlighting stuff in my planner when I’ve completed a task. I enjoy going back through weeks in the past and admiring my work.

I also spent a good fifteen minutes today looking at school supplies. I could have taken longer, but I really needed to make sure I had enough time to get my pre-assignment done for my accounting class this evening. I knew exactly what I wanted but that didn’t stop me from perusing and wishing I had an endless supply of $$$$ to buy stuff I most definitely do not need. It’s not even that I spend time comparing and contrasting similar products. I just really like school supplies. Here’s what I bought:

One 1 1/2 inch binder

One 1 subject notebook

One set of dividers, with pockets (8 dividers)

It is a system of organization that allows me to excel in my masters’ program. Acutally, it just ensures I’ll get a couple looks and hear comments like “wow, you’re really organized…” and “that’s pretty impressive” with sarcastic and/or concerned tones. I think it makes people nervous that someone can be that meticulous. Maybe they’re afraid that I might be one of those crazy people who seem fine until they snap and kill everyone.

Just because I like things done right and believe that everything has a place doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me. It’s totally fine that I cringe when someone disrupts my color-coordinating system. It’s totally fine that when something is really cluttered it makes me incredibly anxious. It’s totally fine that the paperclips in my desk at work have a sorting system. It’s totally fine that I use one pencil and one pen among many available to me.

the girls at work think this is funny. it's not funny. so. not. right.

Anyway, I get it. It’s a lot. I’m clearly high-strung. I should probably chill out and relax a little bit.

You’re aware of the crazy now. We can still be friends, though, right?