Sometimes, when I’m on the phone and I hear a recorded message or the automated lady go through her whole script, I can’t help but wish I was the voice for those things.

I also really enjoy voice-overs. I especially enjoy the voice-overs where I can identify the actor doing the voice-over. For example, I just saw a commercial for sims3 and Jeremy Piven is totally the voice behind that commercial. Or how John Corbett (Aidan from Sex and the City) does the voice-over for Applebees.  Or how I swear I hear Tim Allen’s voice EVERYWHERE.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not mad about it. At all. Seriously. I love Tim Allen.

But for realz, he is the voice of everything. He’s everywhere. The Pure Michigan commercials (on the radio) and he does some car commercial voice over. I swear he does other stuff but every time I try to point it out to people, they’re just like ohhh, I guess I didn’t notice, or oh, I don’t really know his voice very well.

I wish people would just agree with me and be like, Wow, Kate, you’re right. That was Tim Allen. You really have an ear for Tim Allen’s voice. What a weird and awesome talent you have there!

I enjoy Tim Allen’s voice. It’s soothing. And comforting. And it’s just a good voice to listen to. So like I said before, I’m not complaining that I hear his voice everywhere. I like it. More voice-overs from Tim Allen, I say. In fact, he should do audiobooks. Shit, I would read/listen to any book he was reading to me. I’d pretend he was tucking me in for a bedtime story. Except, now that I think about that I’m a little creeped out. I’m in my 20s. He’s my dad’s age. I don’t need to be tucked into bed anymore by anyone. Nor does someone need to read me a bedtime story (except when it’s Alecia, and it’s not so much bedtime-story-reading as it is we’re-on-a-three-day-road-trip-and-need-something-to-pass-the-time-in-the-car-’cause-she-can’t-stand-me-singing-showtunes-anymore.)

I just wonder if it’s his goal to take over all voice-over jobs out there. Then he could be like BAM! I really AM everywhere. Win. And he should consider it a win, because that means he would have beat out everyone else for that job. Even John Corbett, who has a great voice too. It’s friendly and nice to listen to.

But when I hear his voice, I think of this:

I always just think of a really, really happy dog. Just runnin' and playin', livin' the dream!

I mean, I really like dogs, so don’t get me wrong. I’m totally a dog person (in case you weren’t sure. Or the hatred I have towards my own cat hasn’t been made clear by this point. Cat people are weird. HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE/WANT A DOG?! THEY’RE PRECIOUS! Cats are mean and judgy. Rude.) It’s not a bad thing that that’s what I think of when I hear his voice. I just feel like it’s kind of a random thing to picture. Whatevs. Picturing a cute little puppy running through the grass happy as a clam is probably better than what I think of (only sometimes, and it usually never happens) when I hear Tim Allen’s voice:

I love everything about his mugshot! lolz

I mean, really, it’s pretty great.

And to think he’s Santa Claus.

Speaking of Santa Claus, maybe I’ll watch those movies now!