So we all know how much of a freakshow I am. We all are well aware of all the crazy shit I do that somehow makes me feel in-control, normal, and sane. I’m obsessive. I’m anal. I’m compulsive. None of this is new information.

Because of this, I know none of you will be surprised to know that I have a love affair with office supply stores. Uhm, hello?! They have everything!

Also, I have a love affair with the clipything that goes on my work-keys.

please note the dino! RAWR!!

It’s just so perf. It clips to my clothes. It’s retractable. It holds all my keys AND my dinosaur keychain. It allows me to not have to worry about leaving them somewhere, losing them, or having to have something heavy hanging from my wrist/arm. It’s just… so convenient. And everyone is jealous of me because I never lose my keys. (Maybe not that last part but whatever.) I’ve had it for a few months, since I stole it from my mom.

I guess Karma really does exist because the m-f’er broke on me the other day. And I was very, very sad. Actually, it didn’t just break. I broke it. It was still hooked to me and the rest of my keys were stuck in a door. And the door was closing and I was definitely still super far away. And the string-y part stretched too far. And then I heard something snap. And I just knew the metal hook-y part bent and broke off.

😦 RIP clipy-thing-for-my-work-keys.

The good news is that since my work-keys-system worked so well, and I’m a freak about things that work well for me, I immediately took the necessary steps to replace my clipy-thing. I needed to quickly remedy the broken-ness and put the pieces of my broken heart back together again. So, I went to the place where my first clipy thing was from but the girl who worked there was all, oh, uuuuuum we’re, like, out of those. Yeeeaahhhh, we, like, ordered them so they’ll be in, like, sometimes soon… probably. But here’s something similar WHICH, by the way, was not at ALL similar. I totally showed her the broken thing with both of the parts (the metal hook-y part and the stringy part) and she showed me a clear, hard plastic ID case. WTF?

So then I went to Office Max. Office Max usually can help me with just about anything, and I just really love it, but the one I went today was not my regular Office Max. This one upset me, deeply. NO ONE asked if they could help me. And this was the ONE TIME I really wanted someone to ask me if I needed help. And then I couldn’t even find an employee. So I was like eff this and took my business to Staples.

I traipsed through Staples, looking at folders and pens and hole-punches.  I had compiled a list of things I definitely believed I needed when I remembered that I was actually looking for something specific. So, I put down the crayola markers and folder with a kitten on it and wandered aimlessly down one of the main aisles until someone asked me if I needed help. Luckily, I hardly had to lurk because some dude immediately came up and was like, uh, do you need help finding something?

And I was all, oh, actually, yeah I do. This is really dumb, but, uuuuuum, do you have those clipy things that hold keys and hook to you and have a stretchy stringy thing?

That’s when he knew I’m a pain in the ass.

Actually, he was just like *blank stare* and then it was like I could see the light go on. He knew exactly what I was talking about. And the best part? I was lurking right by the endcap of the aisle they were hiding in.  So he was like, we have the plastic ones like you have there (i totally showed him the broken one) or you can get the heavy-duty ones.

I bought the five-pack of the plastic ones. The girls at work are gonna be so excited. CLIPY THINGS FOR EVERYONE!!!