I have issues with my eyes.

Before this year, I could go weeks- months, even!- without changing my contacts. All of a sudden, this year, like clockwork, my eyes let me know it is TIME to change my contacts.

Also, lately, at night, my eyes do this weird thing where they just… don’t really work very well. Mostly because my contacts get fuzzy and my eyes just don’t like it. Megan calls it night blindness.

Here is another fact for you: I’m a terrible driver.

Now, I know you’re probably wondering how these are all related. Let me tell you, friends, they’re not really related at all.  Except, of course, that they kind of are.

It seems that despite the fact that all of these things are true, people still choose to

1) get in a vehicle with me

2) allow me to drive

3) allow me to drive with them in my vehicle in the evening hours

People fear for their lives.

Well, hello! I can’t see!

And it has nothing to do with my prescription. My eye doctor is sexyyyyy and quoted lines from The Hangover back and forth with me and was not married. Win. Win. Win. My prescription is totally perfect and my contacts work. Except when they don’t. Which is exactly every two weeks (I should really follow accuvue’s instructions.)

Something magical happened, though. Just last Friday, my contacts started doing that weird thing. That thing that makes it feel like I have acid in my eyes. It makes me feel like my cornea is conspiring with my retina, like they’re packing up their belongings and getting the eff out of town until I decide to take care of them and replace the plastic that covers them on a daily basis.

Last Friday, I took my contacts out. And washed them down the sink. (I don’t know if that’s okay to do but I do it sometimes.) I did this, knowing I didn’t have back-up contacts with me. I also knew there was no way I was going to be wearing my glasses for days. I already did that a couple times this year because my eyes were so angry with me. So, being resourceful and part-genius, I asked Drew if he had contacts with my same prescription because last time I knew we totally matched. He said he did.

It wasn’t until I washed my contacts away that he/we realized he most definitely does not have the same prescription as I do. He is -4.00 and -3.50. That is not the same as -3.75 in each eye.

Remember how I said I was part-genius? The part that is not-so-genius asked, “Should I just wear one of each to balance it out??”

Drew said, “No.”

We decided that I was to wear the -4.00s in each of my eyes. The magical thing is that I can see just fine! Imagine that!!

I’m still a terrible driver, and my passengers last night to and from seeing A-Team still risked their lives, but I noticed a difference. Ever-so-slightly, there was an improvement.

Megan even noticed. I know this because when she asked me if I wanted to hang out tonight, she said this:

you gonna put Drew’s contacts in again so you can drive?

Would you consider yourself a “good driver?” Do you have a friend who makes you grab the “oh shit!” bar when they drive? Have you ever thrown up in someone’s car?? Share a driving story in a comment!!

Advertisements