I have a secret.

Also, if you should know anything about me, it’s that I cannot keep a secret to save my life. It doesn’t matter if the secret belongs to someone else (even though I really, really try to keep it) or if it’s my own secret. I just can’t do it.

Close friends have realized this and found coping mechanisms to deal with it. Generally speaking, I think it’s safe to say that I’m among the last people to know things because of my inability to shut my trap. I really shouldn’t wonder or get my feelings hurt because I’m the last to know but sometimes I forget that it’s my own doing that makes all of that necessary.

I know we’re already half way through the year, but maybe I’ll have a resolution now? Must. Keep. Secrets.

Bahaha who am I kidding? That’ll never happen.

Anyway, that brings me to my secret.

Are you ready? Really, really ready?

I hate the car wash.

It is not one car wash place in particular; I hate them all. They freak me out.

You know how it’s rude to bring animals through the car wash because they don’t understand it and it scares them, and it’s cruel to put them through that kind of stress? It’s the same thing with me.

So, today, Drew, Mom and I went out to lunch. And, like normal, Mom decided she’d run some impromptu errands while she had us child-locked in the vehicle. Drew complained, like normal, and I panicked, like normal, when she told us she was just going to get the car washed.

Mom and Drew just don’t understand that my anxiety is for realz. I get all jittery and beady-eyed. It’s like I turn into some wimpy, insane version of the Hulk or something. The second the employee takes the money and gives the instruction to put the car in neutral, I start freaking out. I lose all ability of rational thought and react solely on instinct. My instinct is to hate hate hate the car wash.  My heart races and I feel like I’m gonna dry heave and/or die. My eyes dart around the vehicle, following the evilness that are those giant things that wipe down the outside of the car. The power of the water makes a scary noise. How the car moves confuses me and makes me think dark magic is real.  The fans at the end blow fire. How is that safe?!?!

By nature, I’m kind of a loud human being. I screech and scream just to convey my anxiety and hatred of the car wash. Even when I’m by myself, I still freak the eff out. I do, however, try not to go alone because I hate it that much.

Drew usually just mocks me and is deeply entertained by how freaked out I get.

Not cool.

Do you have any weird secrets? Are you freaked out by things you probably have no business being freaked out by? Share!!